There is a growing need for diverse and inclusive counseling services in our society. One area that has been overlooked for too long is the availability of pagan counselors. Paganism is a belief system that encompasses a wide range of spiritual practices outside of the mainstream religions. Finding a counselor who understands and respects these beliefs can be a challenge, but it is an essential aspect of providing comprehensive mental health support. Fortunately, in recent years, there has been a gradual increase in the number of pagan counselors in various regions. While they may not be as widely available as counselors from more traditional religious backgrounds, they offer a unique perspective and understanding of the challenges and experiences faced by individuals who identify as pagan.
The matchmaker tries to dissuade him, but Leo won’t be dissuaded. He arranges to meet the woman, who is the disgraced, dead to her father, daughter of the matchmaker himself, his own Stella. Did she have an affair? Was she a prostitute? Did she date a non-Jewish man? We don’t know. Leo, eager and alive in every nerve in his body, arrives to meet her, violets in hand. “Leo saw that her eyes, clearly her father’s — were filled with desperate innocence. He pictured, in her, his own redemption,” Malamud writes. The last sentences of the story read: “Violins and lit candles revolved in the sky. Around the corner Salzman, leaning against a wall, chanted prayers for the dead.”
There is damage in Leo and damage in Stella and wracking pain in Pinye, who in Old World manner must have told his daughter that she was dead to him. Manischevitz, who has to force himself to believe that a seedy, unreliable, and unprepossessing Negro can be an angel of God There are Jews everywhere, Manischevitz exclaims, when he is convinced at last prays to God Give Fanny back her health, and to me for myself that I shouldn t feel pain in every step I take.
While they may not be as widely available as counselors from more traditional religious backgrounds, they offer a unique perspective and understanding of the challenges and experiences faced by individuals who identify as pagan. Identifying a pagan counselor in your area can be accomplished through several methods. One option is to search online directories specializing in pagan and alternative spiritual practices.
Bernard Malamud’s “The Magic Barrel”
What could it mean, this strange story by Bernard Malamud? Who is he talking to, and what is he talking about? And do I care? Post sexual revolution, post feminism, at a time when too much assimilation, not too little, worries us, should we still be reading Malamud? Or has his moment passed, along with The Bintel Brief and the tales of Cossacks marauding through the neighborhood? “The Magic Barrel” is the title story of a collection that won the young author fame in 1958 and began his reputation as a colleague of Roth and Bellow, a writer equal to Sholem Aleichem, Isaac Babel and Isaac Bashevis Singer, and a companion, a Jewish companion to Chekhov, perhaps even an American-born Franz Kafka.
Leo Finkle, an American rabbinical student near the end of his studies, needs a wife. His parents are immigrants whose marriage had been arranged. This solitary lonely rabbinical student knows no women, so he invites a matchmaker, whose name he has found in an advertisement in the Forward, to find a bride for him. As the story moves forward sex and love and desire join the wedding dance. In the golden land the hora, a group affair, gives way to the fox trot, the two-by-two dippings and clutchings that can lead to just about anything.
Malamud was not sentimental about tradition. His rabbinical student sings no popular song, lives no comfortable life surrounded by a protective community or by a loving God. Leo is between worlds, understands little, himself not at all. If ever the shtetl was actually a loving home, here in America, its ways, about to disappear, are not so useful, at least not to Leo in his mission to find a wife.
The plot is simple. The story is infinitely complex. Leo rejects all the left-on-the-vine, long- in-the-tooth damaged women the matchmaker offers. He goes out on a date with a prospect and realizes that she has been lied to about him; he is not so devout as described to her. She is 10 years older than the bride he sought.
Pinye Salzman, the matchmaker, who always smells of fish, leaves an envelope with Leo, who in desperation looks one day through the photos and finds at the bottom of the pile a snapshot, a face of a woman who has suffered, whose soul leaps out at him. He wants her. He needs her. She has been hurt in some terrible way that Leo recognizes; it draws him toward her. In other words, he falls in love, romantic New World love.
The matchmaker tries to dissuade him, but Leo won’t be dissuaded. He arranges to meet the woman, who is the disgraced, dead to her father, daughter of the matchmaker himself, his own Stella. Did she have an affair? Was she a prostitute? Did she date a non-Jewish man? We don’t know. Leo, eager and alive in every nerve in his body, arrives to meet her, violets in hand. “Leo saw that her eyes, clearly her father’s — were filled with desperate innocence. He pictured, in her, his own redemption,” Malamud writes. The last sentences of the story read: “Violins and lit candles revolved in the sky. Around the corner Salzman, leaning against a wall, chanted prayers for the dead.”
Malamud has his rabbi find love, but not pure, easy love. He has him caught in the difficult space where traditional behaviors, good girls and bad sex knock up against each other. Love comes in an American way: chosen, difficult, soul to soul, tinged with tragedy. Leo cannot get married the way his parents did. He cannot grasp the closeness to God that might have been easier in an insular world in which Descartes, Bach and Darwin remained unknown. Leo like it or not, is of his American time and his American place, and this means he suffers in a particular way, responsible for himself, unsure of his path, lonely if he can’t love and in trouble perhaps if he does.
Image by Kurt Hoffman
In America, girls are not always pure, and the rules of behavior are not always followed. And in America the traditional ways are abandoned by some, and there is pain in that: parent-child pain, man-woman pain. Leo cannot be himself without loving what it is not quite proper to love and without making his own choice, against custom, against what his parents would have him do. It is the trouble he sees in Pinye’s daughter that makes him feel so passionate. When you make a romantic choice it is sometimes pushed by dark thoughts, old memories of your own that can lead you astray or take you right into your true story for better or worse.
On one level, “The Magic Barrel” is the writer’s plea for the modern world, for the movement forward, for freedom of choice, for the opportunity to love, madly, miserably, truly. There is not so much sunshine and song in this choice. There is damage in Leo and damage in Stella and wracking pain in Pinye, who in Old World manner must have told his daughter that she was dead to him.
Malamud seems to be speaking up for the first generation of new Americans who rush into the modern world, sometimes falling down but eager enough.
But wait: Malamud also tells us that Pinye appears almost magically at Leo’s door. Pinye’s wife says that he lives in the air. There is a just a hint of magic in this story — not modern magic but Old World magic, where angels and demons and dybbuks and Lilith and stories rich with irony and sleight of hand reside. So the old and the new fight against each other not only in the plot but also in the language and the imagery and the setting of the scene.
Malamud tells us a story that favors the new way. But he tells it with the flavor and in the imagery of the old way. That is the genius of the story. This creates the tension that makes the reader’s heart beat as if great matters were at stake, not merely the finding of a wife for a not so charming rabbinical student. For Leo, as he approached Pinye’s daughter, “violins and lit candles revolved in the sky.” So there it is: Leo brings Chagall into New York City, just as he is questioning the ways of the Old World. This is the contradiction and the tension that we all lived through, second generation, third generation, and they still cast shadows on fourth generation and on most Jewish Americans.
Leo’s love is tinged with a promise of suffering. His attraction may be to pain and misfortune. Poor Leo. Poor us, in all our modern sophistication.
The Jewish immigrant was looking forward and backward at the same time. The new ways were beckoning, the old ways were clinging. Sometimes the heart would break and sometimes the mind. In this story, love and sexual urgency play with the fires of hell, even though they may burn us badly. Tradition can suffocate the soul, but freedom can destroy it. This story, written post-Holocaust, post-Freud, knows that human beings are vessels filled with personal pain and with strange dreams that are often nightmares. Malamud knew too much. He was a true subversive. He was a Jew.
Anne Roiphe, the author of eighteen books of fiction and not-fiction has also worked as a journalist and columnist on political and Jewish issues.
This article, part of a 12-part series, is sponsored by the Posen Foundation.
These directories list counselors who openly identify as pagan and have experience working with clients from pagan backgrounds. Additionally, reaching out to local pagan communities and organizations may provide leads on counselors or therapists who cater to these specific needs. When considering a pagan counselor, it is important to have an open dialogue and ask questions about their experience and understanding of pagan beliefs. This will help you gauge their familiarity and competence in addressing specific challenges or topics of concern. Remember, finding the right counselor is about establishing a rapport and feeling comfortable discussing personal matters, so take the time to find someone who aligns with your values and beliefs. In conclusion, the availability of pagan counselors in our area is an important development in the field of mental health support. They provide much-needed services to individuals who identify as pagan and offer a safe and inclusive space for discussing concerns and challenges related to their spiritual beliefs. By exploring online directories and connecting with local pagan communities, it is possible to find a counselor who understands and respects your beliefs, ultimately enhancing the counseling experience and promoting overall well-being..
Reviews for "Choosing a Pagan counselor: Factors to consider for the right fit"
1. John Doe - 1 star - I had a terrible experience with the pagan counselor in my area. From the moment I stepped into their office, I felt uncomfortable and judged. They seemed more interested in pushing their own beliefs onto me rather than listening to my concerns. Their advice was overly spiritual and completely disconnected from my reality. I left the session feeling even more confused and frustrated than before. I would not recommend this counselor to anyone looking for practical and unbiased guidance.
2. Jane Smith - 2 stars - I sought help from a pagan counselor in my area, hoping to find someone who could understand and support my spiritual journey. However, I was deeply disappointed with the experience. The counselor seemed more focused on selling me their own spiritual practices and beliefs rather than understanding my unique needs. They did not provide any practical advice or effective coping mechanisms for the challenges I was facing. I found their approach to be vague, and their recommendations seemed impractical. Overall, I left the session feeling let down and with no real guidance for my spiritual path.
3. Robert Johnson - 1 star - My encounter with the pagan counselor in my area was a complete waste of time and money. As soon as we started the session, I realized they were more interested in promoting their own beliefs rather than understanding my concerns. Their advice was generic and lacked any practicality. It felt like they were trying to convert me to their pagan beliefs rather than providing unbiased counseling. I was hoping for guidance that resonated with me, but instead, all I got was a sales pitch for their spiritual practices. I would not recommend this counselor to anyone seeking genuine support.