Once upon a time, in a beautiful forest, there lived a magical bunny. This bunny was no ordinary bunny, for it had the ability to grant wishes. Its fur was as white as snow, and its eyes sparkled like diamonds. The creatures of the forest adored the magic bunny and sought its assistance whenever they needed help. One day, a little deer named Daisy ventured deep into the forest and stumbled upon the magical bunny. Daisy had lost her way and was feeling scared and helpless.
Daisy had lost her way and was feeling scared and helpless. When she saw the bunny, hope filled her heart, and she approached it cautiously. The magic bunny sensed Daisy's distress and hopped over to her with a friendly smile.
TUBI ORIGINAL: The Amityville Curse (2023)
Hans Holzer’s The Amityville Curse was one of several books that the author and parapsychologist wrote about 112 Ocean Avenue (Murder In Amityville, Amityville II: The Possession and The Secret of Amityville are the others). They’re based on the time that he and spiritual medium Ethel Meyers spent in the house. She claimed that it had been built on top of an ancient Native American burial ground and the angry spirit of Shinnecock Indian Chief Rolling Thunder was the entity that had possessed Ronald Defeo Jr. when he killed his family.
This claim was denied by the Amityville Historical Society, as the Montaukett Indians, were the actual tribe that settled the area.
That didn’t stop Holzier from writing more books.
In 1990, The Amityville Curse was filmed as part of a series of Canadian Amityville movies. After purchasing a property in Amityville, Debbie and Marvin invite three of their closest friends to help renovate the place. Of course, things go horribly wrong and nearly everyone dies. I’d recommend all three of these films, which also include Amityville: A New Generation and Amityville: It’s About Time over any of the modern cash-in Amityville movies.
Now, Tubi has purchased a remake of The Amityville Curse from Incendo, the same folks who made Terror Train for the network. It was also produced by author — and Hanz’s daughter — Alexandra Holzer, who they said is contributing to the movie to pay “tribute to continuing the authenticity and legacy of her father’s work.”
She appears in the new series Amityville: An Origin Story as well as The Holzier Files, Shattered Hopes: The True Story of the Amityville Murders and Famously Haunted: Amityville which is also on Tubi.
The movie begins with Mrs. Moriarty (Felicia Shulman) leaving a note and hanging herself. The movie jumps to three months later and a group of young people moving into the Amityville house. Billie Montenouvo (Mercedes Morris), Abigail Blaine (Tommie-Amber Pirie), Debbie Klein (Vanessa Smythe) and Lucy Davis (Jenny Raven) are trying to fix up the property and flip it so they can all make money. Debbie is the most driven of them and minutes after starting to unpack, she’s nearly killed by a falling mirror that Abigail shoves her out of the way of.
Lucy is obsessed with the history of the house, often listening to podcasts about what happened to the previous owners. Billie refuses to believe in ghosts while the others are open minded. That said, these girls are going to kill each other before the house gets fixed up.
When Abigail goes downstairs to fix a short, she freaks out when Frank (Dillon Casey) surprises her. They’re a couple but Billie and Lucy are, as are Debbie and Marv (Michael Xavier), a professor. But back to Frank. Why would he try to freak out his girlfriend in the infamous red room of the house? Why would you get high down there?
Meanwhile, Debbie falls over some books. You shouldn’t be clumsy in a haunted house.
You should also not have sex dreams about your friend’s boyfriend, as Abigail has a fantasy of Marv and sees Debbie show up with a shotgun. Then Frank comes back for another jump scare. Don’t get too attached to him, because he shows up dead at his own hand pretty quickly. Lucy wonders if it was the house,
Then, everyone discusses their finances. I am watching an Amityville movie that makes me consider that I won’t have this mortgage paid off until I am 78 years old. I will be dead and haunting this house before that happens.
After all this tragedy, why would Abigail allow podcaster Ben Holloway (Kenny Wong) to be in the house? This house is his holy grail and after all that drama, Debbie tells Abigail that she and Marv are fighting. The house is trending on Ben’s show Haunted Holloway, which isn’t helping anyone if they want to make enough money to sell this house. Everyone decides to let Ben stay and learn more about the house, but within like an hour he’s running in fear. And then a car hits him. Then he’s dead.
Lucy and Billie are fighting over the restaurant they own, adding more financial issues to this movie. The voices get to Billie, who decides to get into the bathtub fully clothed and bring a hairdryer into the water. Everyone breaks the door down and they find her dead.
So we have a podcaster down, two of the friends and no one is just leaving the house behind. This all proves to me that this is an Amityville movie. I would assume at any time they will either grab a spirit board or call a priest.
This is also very close to the idea of the original movie, except that no one has been killed with a nailgun yet. Also: nailguns are horrible weapons that don’t work like they do in the movies.
Reverend Marion (Ennis Esmer) shows up to tell Lucy that the soil outside is contaminated by all the Satanic rituals that happened in the past. She worries that Billie’s soul is trapped in the house, so he gives her a cross and starts going through the house and leaving symbols in chalk on the walls.
Meanwhile, Marv refuses to believe in the occult, even after three people have died — two on the same day — in the house. Then, you know, you’ve got a priest on a ladder writing on the walls while the lights are flicking on and off. A priest telling a bunch of scared people that the devil himself is toying with them before writing “die die die” on the walls and falling off a stepstool and snapping his leg like Sid Vicious when he jumped off the middle rope during the WCW Sin PPV.
Oh man — that’s when it all comes out, that Marv used to date Abigail before Debbie — who at the time of this revelation is looking at a cartoon drawing of Ron Defeo Jr. killing his family while a voice says “second best” — accuses them of having an affair and starts playing with a knife which she uses to slice her stomach open. And…she’s dead.
At times, this movie looks way too brightly lit with way too sharp digital camera work and other times, it appears to look like an honest to goodness film. Contrast the look of Debbie stabbing herself with the graveyard scene directly after, which looks really blue in tone and really gorgeous. It doesn’t seem to go together well, to be honest, but I notice this often in modern films, particularly streaming ones.
That’s when Doctor Harrison Cole (Brendan Fehr, Roswell, Final Destination), who Marv has battled and called a ghostbuster, comes to help with a seance and as you can imagine, Marv gets possessed by the house. Harrison keeps telling them it’s not a demon, even when it’s strangling him, but if a group of people were ever less prepared to fight the forces inside this house, I haven’t seen them.
That’s when Marv runs outside and near instantly finds a skull with a stab wound in it. Somehow, that causes Marv and Abigail to come together — literally — to hook up in the kitchen, getting caught by Lucy. The two have a woman to woman conversation about it before going to the cemetery to talk to Billie as she lies in the grave, telling her that she’s closing their restaurant.
Somehow, this brings Dr. Cole back, who gets to hear Marv speak in a demonic voice just as Abigail finds that letter that was being written — from the Moriarty family — at the beginning of the movie. As they read “This house killed my husband. It’s finally killed me…it will kill you too,” you can see Dr. Cole try to warn them just as he brains the college parapsychologist with a shovel, telling them to call 911. The phones don’t work because, well, this is Amityville.
I did laugh out loud when Lucy is stuck trying to keep Marv out while Abigail pours paint thinner all over the house to set it on fire. He’s outside screaming like Marky Mark in Fear while Abigail runs around. She yells for Abigail to get back. Abigail says, “We need to burn this house to the ****ing ground!” and just goes off while poor Lucy looks back and yells, “***k you you ****ing bitch! No one ever listens to me!” It’s the most real part of this entire movie and exactly what would happen, an honest bit of just plain frustration in the face of dealing with home improvement and the supernatural danger all around them.
Marv somehow just teleports into the house and sends Lucy into the basement, where she can hear her dead lover calling to her. At the same time as she struggles to release her, Marv is throwing Abigail all over the house and speaking in a demon voice and flickering like a post-J horror ripped off for America possessed person. She reponds by treating him like a Fulci victim — we don’t see the gore — and as he comes down the steps after her, she whac-a-moles him with a sledgehammer and then we get the squirting blood and some fun sound design. But ah, it’s all a ruse, as everyone in the house has gone to the side of the devil.
The movie closes at the graves — I won’t tell you who lives — with a discussion between the survivor and the limping priest. He asks why they stayed. The reply? “Because there’s nothing wrong with the place. It’s just a ****ing house.” The priest gets in the car and Dr, Cole says, “That house must be destroyed.” He’s still alive, somehow, and so is the priest, so are we getting Amityville: A New Generation 2023?
Because as you know, the devil has me in a curse where I must watch every Amityville movie.
Check out the Letterboxd list and article.
Directed by Eric Tessier and written by Dennis Heaton (who also wrote Fido), this is actually just fine. But seriously, at this stage of the game, if you’re making an Amityville movie, you need to be more than fine. You need to reclaim whatever this franchise — is it even a franchise? — is and go absolutely wild. The only movies that feel like they’ve done this in the series are my beloved Amityville II: The Possession, a bit of Amityville 3D, Amityville: It’s About Time — I could almost use that title now to describe how these movies have been now instead of then, it’s about time for a good one! — and the In the Hood films.
You can watch this on Tubi.
She appears in the new series Amityville: An Origin Story as well as The Holzier Files, Shattered Hopes: The True Story of the Amityville Murders and Famously Haunted: Amityville which is also on Tubi.
Daisy explained her predicament to the bunny, hoping it would be able to grant her wish to find her way home. With a wave of its tiny paw, the bunny cast a spell, and suddenly a gentle breeze blew through the forest. The breeze whispered directions directly into Daisy's ear, guiding her back to her family. Filled with gratitude, Daisy thanked the magic bunny before bounding away happily. News of the magic bunny's amazing powers quickly spread throughout the forest. Animals from all corners came to the bunny with their wishes. Whether it was healing an injured bird, bringing rain during a drought, or granting a squirrel a nut-filled tree, the magic bunny never disappointed. As time went on, the magic bunny became not just a helper but also a cherished friend to all the creatures of the forest. They would gather around, singing songs and sharing stories, basking in the warmth of the bunny's presence. But as with all good things, rumors of the magic bunny reached a group of wicked foxes who sought to possess its powers. The foxes set out to capture the bunny, hoping to use its magic for their own gain. Word of the foxes' plan reached the bunny's ears, and it knew it had to protect itself and the forest. With its magic, the bunny concocted a clever plan. It used its powers to create a thicket of thorny bushes around its den, making it impenetrable to those who wished to harm it. When the foxes arrived, they were met with an unexpected challenge. The thorny bushes blocked their path, causing them to retreat in defeat. The magic bunny had successfully defended itself and the forest, and peace was restored. With time, the magic bunny's fame grew beyond the boundaries of the forest. People from far and wide started visiting, seeking its wisdom and guidance. The bunny happily shared its magic and brought joy to all who visited. And so, the tale of the magic bunny spread far and wide, becoming a legend that would be told for generations to come. The bunny's selflessness, kindness, and willingness to help others remained an inspiration to all who heard its story..
Reviews for "The Magic Bunny's Curse: Why They're Feared and Revered"
1. Emily - 2/5 stars - The Magic Bunny fell flat for me. The storyline felt predictable and unoriginal, with no real surprises or twists. The characters were also one-dimensional and lacked depth, making it difficult for me to connect with them or care about their journey. Additionally, I found the writing style to be bland and lacking in creativity. Overall, I was disappointed with this book and wouldn't recommend it to others.
2. Michael - 1/5 stars - The Magic Bunny was a total letdown. The plot was incredibly slow-paced, and it seemed like nothing really happened until the very end. I also found the dialogue to be weak and unrealistic, with characters talking in a way that didn't feel natural at all. Furthermore, the ending felt rushed and unsatisfying, leaving me feeling unfulfilled and wondering why I even bothered reading the book in the first place. Overall, I would not recommend this book to anyone seeking an engaging and exciting read.
3. Jessica - 2/5 stars - I was not impressed with The Magic Bunny. The story lacked originality and felt like a rehashed version of other fantasy novels I've read before. The world-building was also lacking, with little to no description of the magical elements that were supposed to bring the story to life. Additionally, the pacing was off, with the plot dragging on in some parts and rushing through others. Overall, I found this book to be forgettable and would not recommend it to avid readers looking for a captivating and unique story.
4. David - 3/5 stars - The Magic Bunny had its moments, but overall, I was underwhelmed. The characters were decently developed, and there were a few intriguing plot twists that kept my attention. However, the writing style was inconsistent, switching between overly simplistic and unnecessarily complex at times. The pacing was also uneven, making it difficult for me to fully immerse myself in the story. While this book had potential, it ultimately fell short of my expectations.