I have a hunch that my girlfriend is a witch. Lately, I've been noticing some strange things happening around her. It all started one night when I saw her in the backyard, surrounded by a circle of candles, murmuring something under her breath. I couldn't quite make out what she was saying, but it definitely sounded like some sort of spell. Since then, I've noticed other peculiar behavior as well. For instance, she always seems to know things before they happen.
Author of REVERIE and BE DAZZLED Ryan La Sala ‘s THE HONEYS , pitched as Heathers meets Midsommar set at an exclusive overnight camp in the Catskills, to Zack Clark at Scholastic, in a good deal, at auction, in a pre-empt, in a two-book deal, for publication in summer 2022, by Veronica Park at Fuse Literary (world English).
Married writer photographer team Hannah Murphy and Billie Winter s QUEER POWER COUPLES, a photographic celebration of queer intimacy and excellence, to Natalie Butterfield at Chronicle, for publication in spring 2023 world. I fell in love with the way she always makes people feel comfortable and remembers little things about them and asks them questions about their lives.
For instance, she always seems to know things before they happen. It's like she has some sort of magical intuition. She'll often say something like, "I had a feeling that was going to happen" right before an event occurs.
I Performed A Magical Love Spell With My Girlfriend & Learned A Surprising Lesson
I was wasted eating a grilled cheese when I had the first impulse to say “I love you” to my girlfriend, Ryan. But when I caught a glimpse of myself in the restaurant bathroom mirror, ketchup in the corner of my mouth, eyes wildly unfocused, I was like, Mmm, better not. Then my fabulous editor emailed me to ask if I would try out a love spell and write about it. I was hype AF! I had a legit excuse to say what I had been thinking, and if it didn’t go over well, I could be like, Haha, it was all the spell's fault, not mine.
I told Ryan about the potential spell as we sipped overpriced Manhattans in a Brooklyn whiskey bar.
“It’s like any other night we have together, babe,” I said, trying to convince her. She's skeptical about horoscopes, so I figured she’d have the same aversion towards witchcraft. I, on the other hand, know I can't handle dating a Pisces and made my mom buy me a witchcraft book in Salem when I was 10 years old. I begged her to let me baptize myself with a snake for months after that.
"We’ll just light some candles and drink wine and say some super lesbian sh*t to each other,” I continued.
“Are you gonna sacrifice anything?” she asked, eyeing my fur jacket that she hates.
We are the definition of opposites. She is a responsible chapstick lesbian that eats full dinner before going out drinking, keeps her phone in an Otter Box, and always checks the prices of sh*t at the grocery store before placing them in her cart. I get too lit on the reg, need a wallet case on my phone because I forget to carry money otherwise, and don't shop for groceries unless you count ordering Pellegrino and KIND Bars on Amazon Fresh. I have no idea why we work, but we do.
“Noooooo,” I whined dramatically, slurping back the rest of my drink. “It’ll be fun!"
Like most times, she acquiesced. Now I had the perfect reason to say it. We would perform a spell together and then the magic words would come: I love you.
But then I drank another Manhattan and slurred it to her on the street outside the bar. I couldn’t wait! I’ve always had instant gratification issues. I had just been stopped by a photographer who asked to take my photo and as I posed in my fur coat and corset leggings, I looked over at Ryan. The way she was looking at me — like she was proud of me, not rolling her eyes or judging me for being the most extra human being on the planet — made my heart feel like it was going to explode. So, after the last snap of the camera, I couldn’t hold the words in. She said it back.
But momma’s gotta pay the bills (aka for my eyelash extensions and Brooklyn rent), so I still had to do the love spell. I enlisted the help of the fabulous Jaya Saxena, co-author of Basic Witches to get the scoop. I anticipated some "double, double, toil and trouble" stuff mixed with a rat's tail and the blood from my last period, Jaya’s advice for a love spell was actually v easy and v cute.
Quirk Books"Spells are not for making someone fall you in love with you,” she warned in her sweet but firm voice. She recommended that Ryan and I separately find or make objects to represent each other's qualities and place them in a small box. Then, we would present the objects to each other, describe what each one symbolizes, and say what we love about each other. Beautiful, no? Jaya said we could also do the same ritual with friends for a friendship spell! I realized spells are not so much about “making” anything happen, but rather about fostering human connection.
I invited Ryan for a weekend at my family’s beach house in Southold, New York, where I thought we could do our love spell on the beach. So romantic, right? Of course, I forgot my objects, and I forgot to tell her to bring objects, so we just YOLO-ed and improvised (basically how I live my whole life). I decided that if we drank red wine on the beach and said three things we love about each other; it would count as a love spell.
I'm gonna be honest: on the morning of the spell, I was pissed at her. I was washing out our Champagne flutes from our mimosa breakfast (we were on vacation, let me live), enjoying the hot water on my hand as I filled a glass, dumped it, then filled it again.
“You don’t have to fill up the entire glass, you know,” she said, wrapping her arms behind me. “It’s a waste of water.” She super into recycling and water conversation, while I find all that super boring. I felt the anger burn inside me. Sure, I’d like to conserve water but I have been washing glasses for 24 years. I don’t need anyone to tell me what to do or how to do it. Tears threatened to spill out onto my cheeks and I fought the urge to scream or slap her. (PMS is a b*tch and so am I.) I calmly explained I don’t like feeling controlled or told what to do. She retorted that it was for, like save the whales or whatever, and we got over it. Still, I held that in the back of my head and worried that maybe one day our new relationship energy would wear off and all we’d be left with would be our irreconcilable differences.
But I know that our love, respect, admiration and attraction toward each other are more powerful than our differences. Our differences are probably what keep us so close.
We traipsed to the rocky beach, stopping every time I twisted my ankle (sensible shoes are for losers). Once we reached the water’s edge, it was time to cast our spell.
“I love how beautifully you communicate with people,” I told Ryan. I fell in love with the way she always makes people feel comfortable and remembers little things about them and asks them questions about their lives. "I love how comfortable you make me feel." It amazes me that I don’t feel scared of commitment when I’m around her. “I love how smart you are.” When she gets all political on my *ss, it's the best. At the last minute, I couldn't help but add, "And I love how good and rough you sex me." Done.
She told me that she loves how talented I am, that I’m open about my insecurities, that she has a lit time with me, and that my ass is THICC. It was a beautiful moment, but the wind was whipping my fake hair and tangling it in my oversized earrings.
“Let’s go back,” I grabbed her hand. When I touched her, I felt like my heart was going to explode again.
“We should throw something into the ocean," Ryan said. "Or do something symbolic."
My teeth chattered and my gigantic earrings felt like a million pounds on my frozen earlobes. I was wearing a black tube top, leggings, and a baby blue leather jacket. She was wearing jeans with Calvin Klein underwear sticking out the top, a flannel, and a real-*ss winter jacket. Like I said, we're different.
“Let’s not and say we did,” I spun around with my half empty glass of Cabernet Franc. As we walked back to the nearby winery, I felt that intense feeling again — like my heart was going to explode out of my chest, because for better or worse, I am in love with this person. I forgot I was capable of feeling so much.
Back at home, we climbed into the shower together. I told this absolutely disgusting story about the time I went to the emergency room for cramps. The doctors had to do a sonogram, but they couldn't see anything because I was so constipated. I wound up needing an enema. As I brushed my teeth, toothpaste dribbled down my chin. That’s when I realized that I love Ryan because I can be truly vulnerable in front of her. Ceremoniously professing our love for each other by the ocean was a beautiful moment, no doubt. But if I can be this blissfully happy while looking gross and telling a story about being full of sh*t, that's real love right there.
I'm writing this in bed as she sleepily strokes my leg. I didn't think I would ever be here. But I'm happy and in love. And I didn’t even have to sacrifice a small animal to get here.
Another strange occurrence is her ability to communicate with animals. I've seen her sitting in the park, surrounded by birds and squirrels, seemingly having a conversation with them. It's as if they understand her, and she understands them. Furthermore, she seems to have a deep connection with nature. Every time we go hiking, she's able to locate the most beautiful and serene spots in the forest. It's almost like she's in tune with the energy of the surroundings, able to tap into some hidden power. I must admit, all of these incidents have raised my suspicions. There's just something about her that sets her apart from others. It's like she possesses a magical aura that I can't explain. However, I don't want to jump to conclusions. I know that accusing someone of being a witch is a serious matter. I've decided to talk to her about my observations and see if she can offer any explanation for these strange happenings. In the end, whether she turns out to be a witch or not, I will continue to love and support her. Her unique qualities only make her more mysterious and intriguing to me. If she is indeed a witch, I consider myself lucky to have found someone with such extraordinary abilities..
Reviews for "Can witchcraft enhance your relationship?"
1. John - 2 stars:
I have to say, "I have a hunch that my girlfriend is a witch" was a complete disappointment for me. The storyline lacked depth and character development, making it difficult to connect with any of the characters. The plot was predictable, and there were no real surprises or twists. The humor was forced and fell flat, leaving me unimpressed. Overall, I found this book to be lacking in substance and would not recommend it to others looking for an engaging witch-themed story.
2. Emily - 1 star:
I couldn't even finish "I have a hunch that my girlfriend is a witch". The writing style was choppy and filled with cliches. The characters were one-dimensional and lacked any real depth or growth throughout the story. The dialogue felt forced and unnatural, making it difficult to become invested in the conversations. Additionally, the plot was scattered and lacked coherence. I found it hard to follow or care about what was happening. Save yourself the time and skip this book. There are much better witch-themed novels out there.
3. Sarah - 2 stars:
"I have a hunch that my girlfriend is a witch" was a book that I had high hopes for but ultimately failed to meet my expectations. The characters were unlikeable and their actions felt irrational and unrealistic. The plot was scattered, with too many subplots that didn't contribute much to the overall story. The writing style was average at best, lacking the creativity and finesse that I look for in a good book. While the concept of a witch-themed story is intriguing, this book failed to deliver a compelling and well-executed narrative. I would not recommend it to others.