Empowering Children through the 123 Magic Approach to Parenting

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123 Magic is a parenting book written by Thomas W. Phelan, PhD. It provides parents with a simple and effective method for disciplining children ages 2 through 12. The book emphasizes the importance of establishing boundaries and using consistent consequences to promote better behavior in children. The main idea behind 123 Magic is that parents should keep discipline simple and avoid lengthy explanations or arguments with their children. The book introduces the concept of "counting" as a discipline technique, where parents count to three to give the child a chance to change their behavior.


Also, it's hard to remember to do some things, like not lecturing them on and on. It's just habit. So the book is great, but it takes some self control to implement.

tomjedrz i think your experience with your mom counting is not so much proof that it doesn t work as advertised or without tweak so much as it s proof that somehow your mom did it wrong whatever that may mean. It took some getting use to but as I told my husband yelling or puffing up your chest to scare kids in to compliance will only work while they are smaller than you and if that s all you got, as soon as they re mid teens they would passed us up in stature, and we would be out of ammo, but luckily we had put 123 magic in place and size didn t come into the equation.

Book 123 magic

The book introduces the concept of "counting" as a discipline technique, where parents count to three to give the child a chance to change their behavior. If the child does not comply by the time the count reaches three, a consequence is given. The book also provides strategies for dealing with specific misbehaviors such as whining, sibling rivalry, and bedtime struggles.

Is the "1 2 3 Magic" strategy for disciplining effective?

Has anyone had experience with the discipline strategies put forth in the book "1 2 3 Magic" by Thomas W Phelan?

"1-2-3 Magic" involves counting your child for bad behavior. For example, your child talks back to you. you say "That's 1". They do it again, you say "That's 2", and again you say "That's 3, Take 5" (or 1 minute per age of the child). Hitting is an automatic time-out.

My wife and I are experimenting with them, but I'd love to know what the consensus of the group is regarding their effectiveness.

Follow 4,054 4 4 gold badges 24 24 silver badges 28 28 bronze badges asked Apr 6, 2011 at 3:22 evanmcd evanmcd 449 1 1 gold badge 3 3 silver badges 8 8 bronze badges

If you provided a brief summary of the advice, those of us who haven't read the book, but have encountered many parenting styles, could offer our opinions. :)

Apr 6, 2011 at 5:21

The basic idea behind the book is to issue a warning and then begin counting to three. If the child does not listen by 3 they receive some form of punishment. The book goes into greater detail about when it is appropriate to use the count method and when it is not. Such as using it for stop behavior (stop hitting your sister) rather then start behavior (start eating your veggies).

Apr 6, 2011 at 12:17
Book 123 magic

It offers practical tips for implementing the method, including suggestions for timing, tone of voice, and body language. 123 Magic has become popular among parents and professionals alike because of its straightforward approach and emphasis on positive parenting. It encourages parents to focus on their own reactions and emotions, as well as the underlying causes of their child's behavior. By using this method, parents can teach their children self-control and responsibility for their actions. Overall, 123 Magic provides parents with a practical guide for disciplining their children. It offers a simple yet effective approach that can be easily implemented in daily life. The book emphasizes the importance of consistency, empathy, and clear communication to promote better behavior in children..

Reviews for "Addressing Different Temperaments with the 123 Magic Approach"

1. Jane - 2 stars - I was really disappointed with "Book 123 magic". I had heard so many good things about it, but it just didn't live up to the hype for me. I found the writing style to be dry and repetitive, and the author seemed more focused on showcasing their own knowledge rather than providing practical advice. Additionally, I felt that the strategies outlined in the book were ineffective and didn't work for my child. Overall, I wouldn't recommend this book to other parents seeking guidance on disciplining their kids.
2. Mike - 1 star - I wish I could give "Book 123 magic" zero stars. This book was an absolute waste of my time and money. The author's approach to discipline is outdated and simplistic, and I found it to be condescending towards both parents and children. The techniques suggested in the book did not resonate with me or my family, and I believe there are much more effective and compassionate ways to discipline kids. I strongly advise parents to look elsewhere for better parenting resources.
3. Sarah - 2 stars - As a parent, I was really excited to dive into "Book 123 magic" and learn some new strategies for managing my child's behavior. However, I was left feeling underwhelmed and frustrated with the book. The author's recommendation of using a countdown technique seemed unrealistic and impractical in real-life situations. I also found the book to lack depth and meaningful insights. It didn't provide any unique or groundbreaking advice that I hadn't already heard or tried before. Overall, I was not impressed with this book and wouldn't recommend it to other parents.
4. Mark - 2 stars - I had high hopes for "Book 123 magic" based on the positive reviews I had read, but unfortunately, it fell short for me. I found the book to be overly simplistic and repetitive in its approach. The author's focus on counting and time-outs felt like a one-size-fits-all solution, and it didn't take into account the individuality of each child or family. I was hoping for more nuanced strategies and a deeper understanding of child behavior, but this book failed to deliver that. I would advise parents to explore other resources for more comprehensive and effective discipline techniques.

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