Observe I wedded a witch. From the moment I said my vows to her, I knew something was amiss. Her eyes, deep pools of darkness, held secrets that I couldn't begin to fathom. Her touch, so cold and gripping, sent shivers down my spine. But alas, I was too entranced by her beauty to realize the dark magic that lurked beneath. As the days turned into weeks, I started to notice strange occurrences happening around me.
Massachusetts, 1650: A crowd of soberly clad Puritans celebrates their victory over some pesky local witches. But Jonathan Woolley isn’t so sure celebration is in order, because one witch, who took the form of a beautiful young woman, cursed him. It was an odd curse, dooming him and all of his descendants to unhappy marriages. Jonathan scoffs; but the next scenes show his descendants marrying the wrong woman generation after generation.
Those couples feel that a spiritual woman, with a connection to the earth, who can invoke the old Gods and Goddesses, is just the person to bring luck and success to the marriage. In 17th century Salem, two witches, Jennifer Veronica Lake and her father Daniel Cecil Kellaway , are burned at the stake, and an oak tree is planted over their ashes to trap their spirits.
As the days turned into weeks, I started to notice strange occurrences happening around me. Objects would move on their own, whispers would echo through the halls, and strange symbols would appear out of nowhere. It became clear that my once beloved wife was indeed a witch.
Witch for Wedding
…So you think you've got everything ready for your wedding, do you?
The flowers, the ice sculpture, the dress, the embarrassing aunt, the Witch… The Witch?!
Welcome to the now!
Witches, once fearful lonely persons hiding from persecution, are the new black. Everyone knows a witch, or has heard of one, be it your daughter's best friend who's exploring ‘the old ways', or that lady in Southall who always wears pink and can bring your lover back – payment after results.
As the fires of the burnings died down, some witches stopped shying away. Little by little the position of the village wise woman was re-filled. In the last few decades witches became counsellors, herbalists, nurses (and, funnily enough, an astounding number of IT consultants) to reclaim their calling of helping their folk.
Witches marry in a ceremony called ‘handfasting', which is led by one or two fellow witches who act as priestess and priest. In a handfasting, the wrists of the willing couple are bound together to show their free will to be joined together in love. Some handfastings are for life, some last for all of your incarnations, or they could last as long as the bride and groom are in love (one for the commitment phobics). The most popular type of handfasting lasts a year and a day, and the vows are renewed every year.
As well as having a handfasting ceremony, most witches have their union registered in a more formal wedding, either to please their families or for legal reasons.
Now, it seems, tradition went a full cycle, and there are cases of non-pagan couples who choose to have their wedding blessed by a witch. Those couples feel that a spiritual woman, with a connection to the earth, who can invoke the old Gods and Goddesses, is just the person to bring luck and success to the marriage.
Those people invite Inbaal to their wedding.
Inbaal is a thoroughly modern witch. She doesn't follow one particular set of Deities, believing, instead, that each spell or blessing is individual and requires different herbs and chants.
When called upon to bless a wedding, Inbaal will gather the guests around the couple.
She will tell a story about an appropriate pair of deities. For example noble Here, the white-armed queen of heaven, Goddess of marriage and childbirth, and her husband great Zeus, the Thunderer, King of the Gods and Lord of the Sky. Or perhaps Hades, the Wealthy One, Ruler of the Underworld, and his young and beautiful Queen Persephone. At times simply Aphrodite (Venus) will be mentioned – she is the Goddess of Love and Beauty and generally just likes to have a good time.
When the Gods have been remembered and honoured, Inbaal will perform the ceremony in their names.
She ties the wrists of the husband-and-wife-to-be, explaining to the guests the symbolism of it, and then blesses them with each of the elements. The element of Air brings intellect and communication to the nuptials. Fire can bless them with undying passion and ambition. The emotional Water element would ensure their love would keep flowing, and Earth caps it nicely with security and stability. Often the couple would be happy to share their blessings with their guests.
Bride and groom then, aided by Inbaal, bless a drink, from which they drink first and then pass a chalice of drink around for all their friends and family, singles and couples alike, to sip from.
The traditional way of sealing a marriage ceremony is jumping over the broomstick. The witches' broom is a symbol of the joining of the female (twigs) with the male (stem), and jumping over it brings equality and endurance to the wedding.
After the newlyweds jump the broomstick, all couples who want their union blessed are invited to jump as well. This would normally seal the ritual, after which, if the witchy theme of the evening is to be kept, Inbaal can be found in the corner of the hall with her crystal ball and Tarot cards, doing readings and making herbal charm bags. Any quirky request is catered for, and charms can be made to bless an unborn child, to promote monetary success, to bring luck and stability, or whatever you may think you need magic for.
Now, that witchcraft is nearly mainstream, you find them everywhere. Inbaal arrives to the weddings purple-cloaked and robed and wearing a floral garland. ‘What's the point of being a witch', she says, ‘if no-one can tell?'
And I, an unwitting victim of her spell. Her powers grew stronger with each passing day, and soon I found myself trapped in her web of enchantment. She could bend reality to her will, shaping the world around us as she pleased. But with every spell she cast, a piece of my soul withered away. I was losing myself to her dark magic, slowly fading into a mere puppet in her twisted game. It wasn't until one fateful night that I found the strength to break free from her spell. As she lay there, ready to cast yet another curse upon me, I mustered all the willpower I had left and uttered the words to dispel her powers. The look in her eyes changed from one of dominance to sheer terror as her magic crumbled around her. But the scars she left behind were not so easily erased. The memories of her dark magic still haunt me to this day. I am forever changed by the time I spent with the witch, my innocence lost in the face of her malevolence. So, observe closely the tale of a man who wedded a witch. Beware the allure of the unknown, for beneath the beauty lies a darkness that can consume even the strongest of souls..
Reviews for "When Two Worlds Collide: A Witch's Wedding"
1. John - 2 stars - I was quite disappointed with "Observe i wedded a witch". The storyline was weak and the acting felt forced. The characters lacked depth and the humor fell flat. I had high hopes for this movie, but unfortunately, it did not live up to my expectations. Overall, I found it to be a forgettable and unenjoyable experience.
2. Sarah - 1 star - "Observe i wedded a witch" was a complete waste of time. The plot was nonsensical and confusing, with no clear direction or purpose. The casting choices were questionable, with the actors delivering wooden performances. The attempts at humor were cringe-worthy, and I found myself unable to connect with any of the characters. I would strongly advise anyone considering watching this film to save their time and choose something else.
3. Michael - 2 stars - I couldn't get into "Observe i wedded a witch". The concept seemed interesting at first, but the execution fell flat. The pacing was off, and the film had a certain lack of coherence. The dialogue felt forced and unnatural, making it difficult to fully engage with the story. While there were some visually appealing moments, they were overshadowed by the overall disappointment of the movie. I wouldn't recommend this film to others, as there are better options available.