Once upon a time, in a quaint little village, there lived a vile witch from the west. This wicked sorceress was known for her dark powers and mischievous ways. She would ride a bicycle through the town, spreading fear and chaos wherever she went. The villagers dreaded the sight of her, for they knew that trouble was bound to follow. The witch, with her long unkempt hair and crooked nose, would cackle as she pedaled through the streets. Her eyes shone with a sinister gleam, and her twisted grin sent shivers down the spines of those unfortunate enough to cross her path.
Heads up! This piece contains MASSIVE SPOILERS for the movie Pearl. We kindly “axe” that you see the movie first and come back to read this after.
According to The Discworld Companion , Magrat s mentor, Goodie Whemper maysherestinpeace , a witch of an experimental turn of mind, decided to find out if a broomstick could keep its magic if you pulled all its bristles out one by one while it was in flight. In the final act, Pearl dons one of Ruth s dresses a long red dress as a twisted subversion of Dorothy s iconic short blue dress that she wore when she visited Oz and heads to her audition.
Her eyes shone with a sinister gleam, and her twisted grin sent shivers down the spines of those unfortunate enough to cross her path. She would perform vile spells and curses on unsuspecting victims, leaving them in a state of eternal torment. The bicycle she rode was no ordinary bike.
Flying Broomstick
Brooms are the traditional flying mount of the Witch Classic (and many a contemporary). According to The Other Wiki the idea of witches riding on brooms goes back to at least 1453. In the original woodcuts, they've got the head or brush part in front, logical enough since the original witch's broom was a staff with a carved phallic end and the brush was tied on as a disguise. Today's depictions most often put the head in the back, for sake of an aerodynamic appearance (and for similarity with an exhaust pipe or jet engine).
As brooms aren't exactly designed to be ridden upon, riding one would require really good balance so as not to fall off, especially when really high up. Prospective witches and warlocks should also try not to land wrong while sitting on their brooms either or you'll end up "Riding the Rail" if you know what I mean. But if these difficulties are discussed at all, there will usually be a Hand Wave about how the same magic that causes the broom to fly also makes the experience more comfortable than it logically ought to be.
At some point, witches were portrayed as riding the brooms side-saddle, similar to how women traditionally rode horseback. If two witches are shown together, the difference in how they sit on their brooms usually relates to a Tomboy and Girly Girl dynamic.
Appearance-wise, these broomsticks are almost always the old-fashioned kind made by tying bristles in a rough cone around the end of a long stick; modern brooms are very rarely put to such uses. When they are, it'll often be as a joke on witches getting on with changing times. In these cases, however, it's likelier for the joke to be pushed further and to show the witch riding around on a vacuum cleaner; even more recently, witches might be seen flying on roombas, as an ultra-modern broom.
Similar to the Magic Carpet, which is also a flying object but has unrelated origins and applications.
For the Speculative Fiction version see Rocket Ride. Compare Sky Surfing, in which various flying objects are ridden on while standing: particularly daredevil witches may well do this on their brooms. If also used as a weapon, it's a Broomstick Quarterstaff.
It had been enchanted with dark magic, enabling her to travel at incredible speeds and disappear into thin air. This allowed her to strike at a moment's notice, leaving witnesses baffled and terrified. The villagers tried to avoid her at all costs, but her presence lingered like a dark cloud over the town. Despite her wickedness, the witch seemed to take pleasure in tormenting the villagers. She would cast spells on their crops, causing them to wither and die. She would curse their livestock, causing them to fall ill or vanish without a trace. The once prosperous village now suffered under her reign of terror. But the villagers were not ones to simply accept their fate. They banded together, determined to find a way to rid themselves of the vile witch. They sought help from wise sages and powerful enchantresses, desperate for a solution. However, every attempt to defeat the witch proved futile, as her powers were too strong. One day, as the witch rode through the village on her bicycle, a young girl named Lily watched from a distance. Lily had grown weary of the witch's tyranny and decided to take matters into her own hands. With a heart full of bravery and determination, she began to devise a plan. Lily studied ancient books of magic and sought guidance from the village's wisest elder. She learned about the witch's weaknesses and discovered a way to break her enchantments. Armed with this newfound knowledge, Lily set off on a quest to confront the vile witch from the west. Finally, the day of reckoning arrived. Lily approached the witch on her bicycle, her eyes filled with determination. The witch cackled, preparing to unleash her dark powers upon the young girl. But Lily was ready. She recited incantations and chanted ancient spells, channeling her inner strength and defying the witch's curses. The vile witch from the west was stunned. Her powers weakened, she was no match for Lily's unwavering courage. With a final flourish, Lily banished the witch's enchantments and restored peace to the village. The curse was broken, and the villagers rejoiced. From that day forward, the bicycle that once carried the vile witch became a symbol of hope and triumph for the village. It served as a reminder that evil can be defeated, and that even the most wicked of enemies can be brought to justice. The witch was never seen or heard from again, her legacy reduced to mere whispers in the wind. And so, the tale of the vile witch from the west riding a bicycle lives on as a cautionary story. It reminds us to stand up against injustice, to never lose hope in the face of darkness, and to believe in the power of courage and determination..
Reviews for "Peddling Mischief: The West's Wicked Witch and her Bicycle"
1. John - 2/5 - I was really disappointed with "Vile Witch from the West Riding a Bicycle". The storyline felt disjointed and the characters lacked depth. I found it difficult to connect with any of the characters and their motivations. The pacing was also off, with some scenes dragging on while others felt rushed. Overall, I just couldn't get into the book and found it to be a lackluster reading experience.
2. Emma - 3/5 - While "Vile Witch from the West Riding a Bicycle" had an interesting premise, I found the execution to be lacking. The writing style felt clunky and the dialogue was often cliché. The protagonist's actions and decisions were often questionable and didn't make sense to me. Additionally, the world-building felt underdeveloped, leaving me confused about the setting and the rules of the magical elements in the story. Overall, it fell short of my expectations and I was left feeling underwhelmed by the book.
3. Sarah - 2/5 - Unfortunately, "Vile Witch from the West Riding a Bicycle" didn't live up to the hype for me. The plot felt predictable and lacked originality. I was hoping for more twists and turns, but everything played out exactly as I expected. The writing style was also unremarkable, with clichéd descriptions and dialogue. I struggled to maintain interest throughout the book and ultimately felt unfulfilled by the story. It's possible that other readers might enjoy it, but it just wasn't my cup of tea.
4. Alex - 2/5 - I had high hopes for "Vile Witch from the West Riding a Bicycle" but was left feeling bored and unsatisfied. The characters were one-dimensional and lacked complexity. The world-building was inconsistent and confusing, making it hard to fully engage with the story. The pacing was slow and there were too many unnecessary descriptions that added nothing to the plot. Overall, it felt like a missed opportunity for an interesting concept and I wouldn't recommend it to others.
5. Emily - 1/5 - I found "Vile Witch from the West Riding a Bicycle" to be a complete waste of time. The writing was amateurish and filled with grammatical errors. The characters were unlikable and their actions were illogical. The plot was uninteresting and lacked any surprises. It was a struggle to finish the book and I regretted picking it up in the first place. Save your money and look for something else to read.