I recently came across a fascinating business called the Witchcraft Candle Company, and I was intrigued to find out more. While initially hesitant to explore a company that focuses on witchcraft, I soon discovered that the brand offers unique and beautifully crafted candles. The Witchcraft Candle Company promises to enhance the ambiance in your home while incorporating elements of magic and spirituality. Their candles are hand-poured and made with natural ingredients, ensuring a clean and long-lasting burn. Each candle is carefully infused with specific intentions to help manifest desired outcomes in various aspects of life. I was particularly intrigued by the idea of the Witchcraft Candle Company's phone line.
Your Happy, Healthy Family
You are controlling obnoxious behavior with counting, you are using the seven Start behavior tactics to establish positive routines, and you are consistently working on reinforcing your relationships with each of your children. Phelan s compassionate and supportive approach ensures that parents not only gain invaluable tools but also develop stronger connections with their children.
I was particularly intrigued by the idea of the Witchcraft Candle Company's phone line. In a world where technology dominates communication, it is refreshing to see a company embrace good old-fashioned phone conversations. Their phone line serves as a direct point of contact for customers, allowing them to ask questions, seek guidance, and gain a deeper understanding of the company's philosophy.
123 MAGIC PARENTING
What if you are concerned about just one of your children and not the
whole family? When are you supposed to talk? Imagine you have
become concerned about the way that your eight-year-old son has
been treating his friends when they come over to play. Two things
bother you: (1) he makes fun of the other boys, and (2) he will only
play what he wants to play and will not listen to any suggestions.
What do you do? You make an appointment with your son and
calmly and briefly tell him what you are worried about. For example,
“I’m concerned about how you’ve been playing with Mark and Kyle.
Let’s get together some time and talk about it.” Then you get
together, just the two of you, and follow the family meeting format
described earlier in this chapter.
1. Describe the problem. Be brief—no nagging or lecturing. “I’m
concerned about you making fun of your friends and not letting
them do what they want to do when they’re at our house.”
2. Ask your son for his opinion of the situation. “What do you
think about this?” Do your best sympathetic listening.
3. Generate some solutions. “What can we do about this, and
how can I help out?” Wait for your child to come up with ideas
first. If he can’t or he refuses, then come up with your own.
4. Agree on something to try and be very specific.
You don’t need to enter the solution in the computer unless your
son wants to. Try out the ideas, praise cooperation, and fine-tune the
agreement in future meetings. Helpful hints: before the meeting make
sure you’re in a good mood; during the meeting make sure your
listening shoes are on; and after the summit try a little shared one-on-
one fun. Good luck!
Family meetings and one-on-one meetings are not always fun. But
they help prepare your kids for one of life’s ultimate challenges…
living with someone else!
Enjoying Your New Family Life
Your Happy, Healthy Family
You Will Make Some Mistakes—and That’s
Okay!
BY THIS POINT YOU should be well into your three parenting jobs. You
are controlling obnoxious behavior with counting, you are using the
seven Start behavior tactics to establish positive routines, and you are
consistently working on reinforcing your relationships with each of
your children. 1-2-3 Magic is known for producing results. It works—
and it often works in a very short time. No magic. Just the logical,
consistent application of certain basic principles of parenting
technology to the nth degree. But like any good thing in life, the 1-2-3
program takes some work and some thought to keep it going well.
Falling Off the Wagon
Parents are human beings who have good days and bad days. Many
people have used the 1-2-3 program religiously for years and years.
For other caregivers it is a struggle to stay consistent and remember
what they’re supposed to be doing.
The problem we’re talking about here is called “slipping,” or
falling off the wagon. It means you start out well with 1-2-3 Magic,
get the kids shaped up, but then slip back into your old unproductive
ways of operating. The 1-2-3 Magic switch goes to the off position.
The former status quo has a nasty way of sneaking back up on us.
Falling off the wagon can occur suddenly on an especially bad day, or
slipping can happen more gradually over months or even years.
In the course of a day there’s always so much going on. You have
to go to work, drive the kids all over the place, feed everybody,
answer phone calls, help with homework, call your mother, and try to
find a little time to read the paper. When you’re doing nine things at
once, who can remember the No Talking and No Emotion Rules?
You can! It’s not always easy, but it beats arguing and screaming,
which only add to your troubles and make you feel angry and guilty
later. Remember: 1-2-3 Magic was written for busy parents like
yourself who are inevitably going to get upset from time to time.
When you’re doing nine things at once, who can remember the No Talking and
No Emotion Rules? You can!
Over the long term, slipping can occur for a number of reasons.
The most frequent culprits are visitors, illness, travel, new babies, and
plain forgetfulness. Gradually you find yourself talking too much,
forgetting your Start behavior routines, and not enjoying your kids
anymore. Then one night, you wake up at 3:00 a.m. and wonder,
“What happened to the 1-2-3 method?”
Slipping can also occur in certain situations where your thoughts and
emotions conspire to throw you off track. In these situations, it’s not
so much that you forget what you should do. Instead, emotional forces
inside, caused by a little bit of screwy thinking, push you toward a
bad discipline response.
How do you manage these unwanted tests of your will? Clear
thinking—along with a little effort and courage—is often needed.
Let’s look at a few examples.
Anxiety: What will people think?
Wrong way: You have two other couples over for dinner, and you’re
sitting at the table with them and your son and daughter, ages six and
eight. The kids start poking one another. Daughter pushes Son and
says, “Leave me alone!” One of your guests laughs and says
nervously, “Well, kids are always kids, aren’t they?” You think , “I
don’t want to embarrass myself and everyone else by disciplining my
kids at the dinner table.” You laugh along with your friend.
Right way: You think , “Our friends may wonder what I’m doing, but
I’d better nip this fight in the bud.” You say , “Guys, you’re both on a
1.” Then you briefly explain counting to your guests.
Anger: Bringing your work home
Wrong way: You’ve had a terrible day at work, having made two
major mistakes and aggravating your boss big time. When you walk
in the door, the kids are watching TV and the family room floor is
covered with books, papers, pens, toys, and just general junk. You
think, “Why can’t these kids ever put anything away?” You yell ,
“What’s the matter with you guys! THIS ISN’T A PIGPEN. IT’S
SUPPOSED TO BE A HOME!”
Right way: You think , “I’m a walking time bomb waiting to go off.
Kids are kids, and we’ll worry about picking up at eight o’clock like
we usually do.” You say, “Hi, guys. I’ve had a terrible day and need a
little space for a few minutes.”
Guilt: The poor kid!
Wrong way: It’s 2:30 p.m. on a long, boring summer day. Your nine-
year-old son asks you to buy him the new, all-the-rage video game.
It’s not that expensive. You reply, “Not today.” He whimpers, “I never
get to do anything. This summer really sucks!” You think , “I never
liked the way my parents treated me. Poor kid. Why am I being so
selfish?” You say , “All right, but that’s all we’re getting. I have work
to do!”
Right way: You think , “His whimpering is Testing Tactic 4,
martyrdom. He needs to develop more constructive ways of
entertaining himself.” You say nothing.
Sadness: Poor me
Wrong way: Two weeks ago your best friend of fourteen years
moved from down the block to a city nine hundred miles away. It’s
9:15 p.m., which is usually story time for your eight-year-old
daughter and part of her basic bedtime routine. But over the last
couple of weeks you’ve skipped story time on three occasions and had
her go to sleep by herself. You hear, “Mom, are you coming up?” You
think, “What’s the use? I’m tired. She can get herself to sleep.” You
say, “Not tonight, honey.”
Right way: You think , “I’ve been sloppy lately with her bedtime
because of things going on in my own life. Maintaining the routine
and our time together is important. I’ll also feel better reading to her
than I will sitting down here moping.” You say , “I’ll be up in a
second.”
Recovering from a Slip-Up
What do you do when you find yourself—over the short or long term
—falling back into your old ways? First of all, accept slipping as
normal. Nobody’s perfect, including you, and you shouldn’t expect
yourself to be. Life—especially with kids—is also more complex,
messy, and challenging than any of us ever anticipated.
Second, it’s back to basics. Most often, when parents come to me
and say “The 1-2-3 is not working anymore,” what is happening is a
violation of the No Talking and No Emotion Rules. The next most
common setback is forgetting Parenting Job 3, relationship
strengthening. So we sit down and review 1-2-3 Magic carefully, and
then send Mom and Dad on their way. This brief refresher course
usually takes care of the problem.
The fact that you used 1-2-3 Magic once and got tripped up a little
does not hurt the program’s effectiveness the second time around.
Turn that 1-2-3 switch back to On.
When you have caught yourself backsliding, say something like
this to your kids: “Guys, I’m not doing my job right. You got me
frustrated, and I’m talking and yelling too much. We’re going back to
counting.” When you’ve regressed over a longer period, consider
redoing the Kickoff Conversation.
Over the course of your kids’ growing-up time at your house, you
may go through a number of slip-ups and recoveries—daily, monthly,
or even annually. Each time you catch yourself getting careless, just
pick yourself up, take a deep breath, and go back to what you know
works best.
CHAPTER SUMMARY
One of the nice things about 1-2-3 Magic is that it’s so easy to get
back to. The most critical thing is to cut out all that extra talking!
Remember: to slip up is human; to recover, divine.
YOUR HAPPY, HEALTHY FAMILY
How 1-2-3 Magic Will Change Your Life
WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT from 1-2-3 Magic? You can expect a more
peaceful household, a lot less arguing, and fewer angry moments. You
can expect to have more fun, and affection will come more easily.
Your children’s self-esteem will improve and so will yours. You will
feel more in control and you will know you are handling parenting
challenges correctly.
What it all boils down to is this: How do you want to spend your
time with your kids? One option is that you can spend your time like
this:
In this scenario, the kids are driving you crazy most of the time.
You are caught up in frequent but futile attempts at “discipline.”
There is little time to enjoy your children, educate them, or even like
them.
On the other hand, you can put some real thought and effort into
establishing the 1-2-3 Magic program in your family and spend your
time like this:
In this situation the proper parenting and family perspective has
been established. Sanity is restored by the 1-2-3 system, making
discipline crisp, gentle, and efficient. There’s less arguing and
yelling, and in this more peaceful atmosphere there are more good
times. Everyone’s self-esteem benefits.
“1-2-3 Magic Saved My Marriage”
I’ll never forget the following story that one mother told me many
years ago. 1-2-3 Magic brings families closer together—kids get
along better with their siblings, and parents can even get along better
with each other.
Michelle and her husband, Jack, had very different parenting
styles. He was a spanker and she was a talker. They disagreed on what
behaviors to discipline and on how to discipline them. Michelle
tended to be too soft; Jack tended to be too hard. Each tried to
overcompensate to make up for the other. It was a mess.
Michelle told me that she and Jack often argued about other things
instead of the real issue. If her husband was too hard on their eight-
year-old son, Kyle, while he was doing his homework, for instance,
Michelle would nag about the laundry. If her husband thought she was
too soft about homework, he would get snippy over the dishes. The
two never said what the real problem was, and on the rare occasions
that they did, it turned into a huge fight.
One time at the grocery store, Michelle temporarily got separated
from Kyle and Dad. When she found them again, Kyle’s eyes were
red and he was rubbing his bottom.
“What happened?” Michelle asked as she glared at her husband.
“Daddy spanked me!” Kyle piped up.
“Why did Daddy spank you?” Mom asked.
Jack jumped in, “He wandered away from me and I couldn’t find
him.”
Michelle gave her husband her best “I-am-so-mad-at-you” look.
They then walked around the store fighting with each other in front of
their son. Their conversation sounded like this:
“If you would just let me discipline him, he wouldn’t run away
like that.”
“If you were watching him better, he wouldn’t have run away.”
“If you wouldn’t be so soft on him, then he would listen the first
time.”
“If you wouldn’t beat him, then he wouldn’t want to run away.”
This couple was going nowhere. Then one day, their pediatrician
recommended a program with a strange name: 1-2-3 Magic. Michelle
read the book and persuaded Jack to watch the DVD. After that, things
changed fairly quickly.
Don’t spend any more days caught up in useless irritation. Take charge of your
home today—and start having some fun with your kids!
As Michelle put it, “When we started 1-2-3 Magic, our parenting
issues came together. And something else amazing happened. There
was a lot less bickering about laundry and dishes. We didn’t fight as
much as we had before. Since using 1-2-3, our marriage is stronger
and our parenting is simple and understood.”
Differences in child-rearing tactics between Mom and Dad can put
terrible strains on marriages. As Michelle put it, “Now the
expectations are the same for both of us, and the difference in our
marriage (as well as in parenting our son) has been amazing.”
Further Readings and Resources
Borba, Michele. Building Moral Intelligence: The Seven Essential Virtues That Teach Kids
to Do the Right Thing. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2002.
Goleman, Daniel. Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. New York:
Bantam Books, 2005.
Active Listening and Problem Solving
Faber, Adele, and Elaine Mazlish. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will
Talk. New York: Scribner, 2012.
Ginott, Haim. Between Parent and Child. Revised and updated by Alice Ginott and H.
Wallace Goddard. New York: Crown Publishing, 2003.
Childhood Emotional Problems
Chansky, Tamar E. Freeing Your Child from Anxiety: Powerful, Practical Solutions to
Overcome Your Child’s Fears, Worries, and Phobias. New York: Crown Publishing, 2014.
Coloroso, Barbara. The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander: From Preschool to High
School—How Parents and Teachers Can Help Break the Cycle . New York: William
Morrow Paperbacks, 2009.
Turecki, Stanley, and Sarah Warnick. The Emotional Problems of Normal Children: How
Parents Can Understand and Help. New York: Bantam Books, 1994.
Separation and Divorce
Philyaw, Deesha, and Michael D. Thomas. Co-Parenting 101: Helping Your Kids Thrive in
Two Households after Divorce. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2013.
Ricci, Isolina. The CoParenting Toolkit: The Essential Supplement for Mom’s House, Dad’s
House. La Vergne, TN: Lightning Source, 2015.
Awareness Technologies. WebWatcherKids website, www.webwatchekids.com
(Information on monitoring software)
Common Sense Media website, www.commonsensemedia.org (One-stop shop for reviews
on TV, movies, music, games, books, and websites—excellent resource)
McAfee. InternetSafety website, www.internetsafety.com (Safe Eyes Internet filter)
National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. NetSmartz website,
www.netsmartz.org (Very popular safety site used by educators, law enforcement, and
parents)
WiredSafety website, www.wiredsafety.org (Internet safety site)
Cohen, Lawrence J. The Opposite of Worry: The Playful Parenting Approach to Childhood
Anxieties and Fears. New York: Ballantine Books, 2013.
Miles, Karen. The Power of Loving Discipline. New York: Penguin, 2006.
Semmelroth, Carl. The Anger Habit in Parenting: A New Approach to Understanding and
Resolving Family Conflict. Naperville, IL: Sourcebooks, 2005.
Stiffelman, Susan. Parenting with Presence: Practices for Raising Conscious, Confident,
Caring Kids. Novato, CA: New World Library, 2015.
Borsky, Bari. Authentic Parenting: A Four Temperaments Guide to Understanding Your
Child—And Yourself! Herndon, VA: SteinerBooks, 2013.
Dodson, James C. The New Strong-Willed Child. Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale Momentum,
2014.
Other Discipline Alternatives
Farber, Adele, and Elaine Mazlish. Siblings without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children
Live Together So You Can Live Too. New York: W. W. Norton & Company, 2012.
Leman, Kevin. Have a New Kid by Friday! How to Change Your Child’s Attitude, Behavior
& Character in 5 Days. Grand Rapids, MI: Revell, 2012.
MacKenzie, Robert J. Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child: Eliminating Conflict by
Establishing Clear, Firm, and Respectful Boundaries. New York: Three Rivers Press, 2013.
Markham, Laura. Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting .
New York: Perigee, 2012.
Research on 1-2-3 Magic
Allen, Sharon M., Roy H. Thompson, and Jane Drapeaux. “Successful Methods for
Increasing and Improving Parent and Child Interactions.” Paper presented at the 24th
Annual Training Conference of the National Head Start Association, Boston, May 25–31,
1997.
Bradley, Susan, Darryle-Anne Jadaa, Joel Brody, Sarah Landry, Susan E. Tallett, William
Watson, Barbara Shea, et al. “Brief Psychoeducational Parenting Program: An Evaluation
and 1-Year Follow-Up.” Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent
Psychiatry 42, no. 10 (October 2003): 1171–78.
doi:10.1097/01.chi.0000081823.25107.75.
Elgar, Frank J., and Patrick J. McGrath. “Self-Administered Psychosocial Treatments for
Children and Families.” Journal of Clinical Psychology 59, no. 3 (2003): 321–39.
doi:10.1002/jclp.10132.
Norcross, John C., Linda F. Campbell, John M. Gohol, John W. Santrock, Florin Selagea,
and Robert Sommer. Self-Help That Works: Resources to Improve Emotional Health and
Strengthen Relationships, 162, 165. New York: Oxford University Press, 2013.
Porzig-Drummond, Renata, Richard J. Stevenson, and Carol Stevenson. “The 1-2-3 Magic
Parenting Program and Its Effect on Child Problem Behaviors and Dysfunctional Parenting:
A Randomized Controlled Trial.” Behaviour Research and Therapy 58C (May 2014): 52–
64. doi:10.1016/j.brat.2014.05.004.
Salehpour, Yeganeh. “1-2-3 Magic Part I: Its Effectiveness on Parental Function in Child
Discipline with Preschool Children.” Abstract. Dissertation Abstracts International, Section
A: Humanities & Social Sciences 57, no 3-A (September 1996): 1009.
Tutty, Steve, Harlan Gephart, and Katie Wurzbacher. “Enhancing Behavioral and Social
Skill Functioning in Children Newly Diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity
Disorder in a Pediatric Setting.” Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics 24, no.1
(February 2003): 51–57.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
PHOTO COURTESY OF THOMAS W. PHELAN, PHD
THOMAS W. PHELAN is an internationally renowned expert, author, and
lecturer on child discipline and attention deficit disorder. A registered
PhD clinical psychologist, he appears frequently on radio and TV. Dr.
Phelan practices and works in the western suburbs of Chicago.
IF YOU LOVED 1-2-3 MAGIC…
check out these other products from Thomas W. Phelan,
PhD
Managing Difficult Behavior in Children 2-12
More 1-2-3 Magic DVD
Encouraging Good Behavior, Independence, and Self-Esteem
1-2-3 Magic Workbook
A user-friendly, illustrated companion to the 1-2-3 Magic book that includes case
studies, self-evaluation questions, and exercises
1-2-3 Magic in the Classroom 1-2-3 Magic for Teachers DVD
Effective Classroom Discipline Pre-K through Grade 8
1-2-3 Magic for Kids
Helping Your Children Understand the New Rules
1-2-3 Magic for Christian Parents
Effective Discipline for Children 2-12
1-2-3 Magic Starter Kit
Accessories to help you get started with the 1-2-3 Magic program
Tantrums! Book and DVD
Managing Meltdowns in Public and Private
Surviving Your Adolescents
The Dos and Don’ts of Managing Life with Teens
Thank you for reading!
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Administration by an angry, fed-up, and self-righteous parent.
By providing a phone line, the Witchcraft Candle Company demonstrates its commitment to customer satisfaction and personal connection. It shows that they value the individual needs and experiences of their customers, going beyond merely selling products. The phone line creates an opportunity for customers to engage with the brand, share their journey, and receive personalized recommendations. Furthermore, the phone line offers a platform for customers to explore their curiosity about witchcraft and gain a better understanding of the company's practices. It serves as a gateway for those who may have reservations or misunderstandings about witchcraft, allowing them to have open and honest conversations. Overall, the Witchcraft Candle Company's phone line is a unique and valuable offering that sets them apart. It enables customers to fully immerse themselves in the brand's world of magic and spirituality, providing a personal touch in an age of impersonal communication. Whether seeking the perfect candle for a specific intention or desiring a meaningful conversation about witchcraft, the phone line offers a valuable resource for customers of the Witchcraft Candle Company..
Reviews for "The Witchcraft Candle Company Phone Line: Accessing Ancient Wisdom"
- Sarah - 1/5 stars - I was really excited to try out the Witchcraft candle company phone line, but I ended up being really disappointed. The customer service was terrible, and the woman on the line was rude and unhelpful. I asked her a few questions about the candles and she responded with short, vague answers. It felt like she didn't want to be bothered. Not only was the customer service terrible, but when I finally received my candles, they were not what I expected. The scents were weak and hardly noticeable when lit. Overall, I would not recommend this phone line to anyone.
- Mike - 2/5 stars - I had high hopes for the Witchcraft candle company phone line, but I was left feeling underwhelmed. The customer service was average at best, with long wait times and unenthusiastic representatives. The candles themselves weren't bad, but they didn't live up to the hype. Some of the scents were too overpowering, while others were barely noticeable. The packaging was also lackluster and didn't reflect the price point. In the end, I don't think I'll be purchasing from this phone line again.
- Emily - 2/5 stars - I have mixed feelings about the Witchcraft candle company phone line. On one hand, the customer service was responsive and the representatives were friendly. However, the quality of the candles was lacking. The scents were weak and didn't fill the room like I expected. The burn time was also disappointing, as the candles didn't last as long as other brands I've tried. While I appreciated the effort put into the packaging and branding, the overall quality of the product was a letdown.