Retired Mrs Witch Song is a comedic song written by Jeff Moss, featured in the children's television show Sesame Street. The song is performed by a character named Retired Mrs Witch, who sings about her life as a retired witch in a humorous and whimsical tone. The main idea of the song is to showcase the character's transition from an active witch to a retired and contented individual. The lyrics describe various spells and magical activities that Retired Mrs Witch used to engage in during her active years, such as flying on a broomstick and turning people into frogs. However, now that she is retired, she no longer performs these magical acts and instead enjoys simpler activities like gardening and knitting. The song highlights the contrast between Retired Mrs Witch's past and present life and emphasizes the idea that retirement can be a time for relaxation and pursuing one's hobbies and interests.
The strange thing is, this story could have been infinitely more interesting, at least to me, with a very simple change: Rather than having the storytellers be random assassins, make them Breathstealers! The Breathstealers were a big thing during Mirage block. They were featured in two stories in the Encyclopedia Dominia, and the fact that they were left behind in Suq'ata was one of the biggest consequences of the Mirage War. Sure, Mirage was ancient history by the time this anthology was released and I don't think the Breathstealers ever turned up again, but they are at least part of continuity, and a part that I happen to really like. The bit with Necros getting his power from his three bothers even fits perfectly with the mechanic of sacrificing Breathstealer, Urborg Panther and Feral Shadow to summon the Spirit of the Night!
The strange thing is, this story could have been infinitely more interesting, at least to me, with a very simple change Rather than having the storytellers be random assassins, make them Breathstealers. But the soul of the witch went into the water and now those pirates are trapped on the island, and you shouldn t save them for fear of angering the witch s spirit.
The song highlights the contrast between Retired Mrs Witch's past and present life and emphasizes the idea that retirement can be a time for relaxation and pursuing one's hobbies and interests. It also conveys the message that it is possible to find fulfillment and happiness in everyday activities, even without the excitement and magic of a previous profession. Throughout the song, there are humorous references to witch-related terms and imagery, such as brewing potions and cackling laughter.
My Fake Greek Myth: The Fall of Athens
This story takes place in ancient times, after Zeus had his first cheat against Hera and Aphrodite’s “help” may just get her in huge trouble. Aphrodite is the goddess of love, beauty, and jealousy, but that doesn’t mean she’s not aggressive and self-oriented. The lesson of this story is that you should never test the gods power or steal from the or you will be sorry.
A plan formed in Aphrodite’s head, she told Hera that she had found a powerful, magical, and amazing device that could even be used to get back at Zeus. Hera wasn’t all that convinced but a chance to get back at Zeus was one she couldn’t miss. “Where is this device that you speak of?” Said Hera. A grin spread across Aphrodite’s face, her plan was working perfectly,” it is in the forest of Thebes, I’ll meet you there, …a mortal needs love advice.”
When Hera was in the forest a sudden feel of love swept through her body and then her eyes met a nearby hunter. He wasn’t the most handsome mortal, but he wasn’t the ugliest, so basically, he was just average. Aphrodite laughed so much at them “falling in love” she didn’t even notice that her magical strap, that made her irresistible to men, her only weapon fall off her. A greedy girl named Azalea came by and saw it, she knew if she got her hands on that strap, she could become a Queen or even better a goddess. She carefully waited for Aphrodite to turn into a bird and fly away with a mad Hera and grabbed it before Aphrodite could notice.
Azalea didn’t feel more beautiful but knew it had worked when she went into Athens and all the men were swooning over her. A God named Ares us saw her and immediately dumped his goddess girlfriend, Aphrodite and went down to Athens. Aphrodite knew something was up, so she made sure she was wearing deodorant then realized she had lost her magical strap. She went down to Athens to a and saw Ares, the prince of Athens, and a bunch of other men were all tripping over themselves just to see the mortal girl. Normally Aphrodite wouldn’t have noticed until too late, but with everyone stopping to admire Azalea no one was left to take care of her temples and shrines, and nobody made sacrifices to her.
Aphrodite made things blow up in pink clouds to get their attention and all the men ran except Ares and the prince. “Give me my magic strap and I might consider not tearing you into pieces!” Aphrodite shrieked. The prince had a sword drawn ready to protect Azalea and Ares took it the wrong way and thought that he meant war. He was about to call an army from his capital city, but Aphrodite jumped in and stopped him. Ares left because he had one last trick up his sleeve.
As they were about to reach Mount Olympus Ares turned around and blasted Athens to bits without a trace of survivors except Azalea who hid and let everyone else take the fall for her. As she ran away a “poor beggar” tripped her and made her fall flat on her face. “How dare you, peasant, can’t you see I’ve already been through enough?” little did she know it was really Aphrodite in disguise. She clawed the magic strap off the tiny mortal’s body and with a flick of her hand she turned Azalea into a dog faced worm. Ares, now free from the curse, came down and used his mighty boot to crush her.
When Azalea reached the underworld, she was forced to be old, wrinkly, and ugly for eternity while people laugh at her. Then way up in heaven Hera and Athena were trying to claw Aphrodite’s eyes out. Zeus and Demeter had to hold them back, but they knew they wouldn’t last long before they broke free. In the end Aphrodite had to do whatever Hera wanted for a season then do whatever Athena wanted for the next season and all would be forgiven.
So, Aphrodite spent half a year cleaning bathrooms, making other gods fall in love, promoting people to sacrifice to the two goddesses, and calling them madam. It was not fun for her and she was so embarrassed she barely showed her face for a week, but it all blew over.
Another pretty pointless story. Worse, this one has huge pacing problems. We spend pages on the pirate trapped in the illusions, but then in one paragraph he kills his captain and takes control of the fleet to escape. The the story suddenly jumps forward years to him invading the island. Then after he has killed the witch we are suddenly back with the storyteller, who gives us a paragraph long info dump on how the witch's soul went into the water and thus things turned out badly for the invaders, despite his actual ending his story with them triumphant. And the guy listening to him even has the gall to compliment him for "a well told tale"!
These elements add a playful and lighthearted touch to the song and make it enjoyable for children and adults alike. Overall, the Retired Mrs Witch Song is a catchy and funny tune that entertains while conveying the positive message of finding joy and satisfaction in retirement. It encourages viewers to embrace the opportunities that retirement brings and make the most of their newfound free time..
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