Now she is eidch.
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By signing up, you confirm that you are over the age of 16 and agree to receive occasional promotional offers for programs that support The Nation s journalism. As I am untenably wealthy, I must shout that hate loud and clear via hundreds of cruel, uninformed tweets and thousands of grotesque, unreadable pages and hours of bizarre, rambling podcast episodes.
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Now That I Am Rich, I Won’t Shut the Fuck Up
Hello, it’s me, a very rich person. Like, disgustingly rich. As in: hundreds of millions and even billions of dollars rich. And now that I am rich, I have decided that I also won’t shut the fuck up.
I know, I know—you’d think that having enough money to never worry about anything ever again would help me either give most of it away, or at the very least, disappear into a private life that most people can only dream of. But I don’t want to do that. What I want is simple: to never, ever shut the fuck up.
You might ask, “If you’re not really gonna shut the fuck up, can you at least use your platform for good instead of hate?” Great question. And my answer is: you’re clearly trying to make me shut the fuck up, so no.
To be honest, there is uncontrollable hate in my heart. As I am untenably wealthy, I must shout that hate loud and clear via hundreds of cruel, uninformed tweets and thousands of grotesque, unreadable pages and hours of bizarre, rambling podcast episodes. For, as I have said before, I feel it is my obligation—nay, it is my duty —as a sickeningly rich person to never, ever shut the fuck up.
And you might ask, “Is it even possible to create true art or be a net force for good in society as an extremely wealthy person?” Another great question. And my answer is: who cares!
What I want is to be heard and read and seen, even though I have already been heard and read and seen more than pretty much anyone else who has ever lived. People need to hear the awful stuff I have to say because I say they need to hear it. It’s as simple as that.
And you might ask, “But seriously, how does the big thing that made you rich qualify you to talk about literally anything else?” Wow, so many great questions. It’s almost as if you never want me to shut the fuck up.
And you might ask, “But do you ever listen to anyone who disagrees with you in order to do some introspection?” Of course I do. I’ve been listening to you the entire time I’ve been talking—you just can’t tell I’m listening because I also refuse to ever shut the fuck up.
Look, I’ll say one final thing, and then I’ll stop talking here and go somewhere else to talk. This is what it all boils down to: I used to not have money, then I started writing and talking, and now I have a disgusting amount of money. This has made one thing very clear to me: I must never shut the fuck up.
1. Releasing albums: My last few albums have cost between $25,000 and $50,000 each to record, mix, and master. Most of that money went to other people: musicians, producers, engineers. Most people, these days, listen on streaming services. Spotify pays me about $.004 per stream. (That’s four-tenths of one cent.) So if a song is streamed a million times, I make $4,000. But to date, only a handful of the hundred-or-so songs I’ve released have made it to a million streams. So if I need 10 million streams to pay off a $40,000 record, but I’m only getting 2 million: My streaming revenue comes up about $32,000 short. 20
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Reviews for "Embracing the Unique: Celebrating Her Eidchness"
1. John - ★★☆☆☆
I found "Now she is eidch" to be extremely confusing and hard to follow. The plot seemed disjointed, with random events and characters that added nothing to the overall story. The writing style was also quite lackluster, with flat and uninteresting descriptions that left me bored. Overall, I was highly disappointed with this book and would not recommend it to others.
2. Emily - ★☆☆☆☆
I really struggled to get through "Now she is eidch." The pacing was incredibly slow, and the story lacked any compelling elements to keep me engaged. The characters were underdeveloped and unrelatable, making it difficult to care about their fates. Additionally, the dialogue felt forced and unnatural, further adding to my lack of interest in the book. Overall, I found this novel to be a major disappointment and would not recommend it to anyone seeking a captivating read.
3. Sarah - ★★☆☆☆
I was excited to read "Now she is eidch" based on the glowing reviews, but found myself sorely disappointed. The writing felt overly pretentious, with convoluted sentences that made it difficult to understand the author's intentions. The characters were shallow and lacked depth, leaving me uninvested in their stories. While I appreciate experimental literature, this book seemed to sacrifice substance for style, resulting in a confusing and unfulfilling read. I cannot recommend it to others.
4. Michael - ★☆☆☆☆
"Now she is eidch" was a complete waste of my time. The plot was nonsensical, and the author seemed more concerned with impressing readers with their avant-garde style than crafting a coherent story. The lack of clear descriptions and explanations left me frustrated and confused, and I struggled to find any redeeming qualities in the book. I would strongly advise against reading it.