Da Hip Hop Witch is a 2000 American horror film directed by Dale Resteghini. The film stars Eminem, Ja Rule, Pras, Vanilla Ice, and Mobb Deep. It is a found-footage style film that follows a group of aspiring rap artists who are trying to find Da Hip Hop Witch, rumored to be a supernatural being targeting hip-hop artists. The film was highly controversial upon its release due to its depiction of violence and the portrayal of real-life rappers. Despite the star power of the cast, the film was panned by critics and was a commercial failure. The main idea of Da Hip Hop Witch revolves around the search for a supernatural being that is targeting hip-hop artists.

DA HIP HOP WITCH Will Kick Your Ass

Believe me when I say there's nothing on earth quite like Da Hip Hop Witch. This 2000 direct-to-video gem is a dense, giddily incomprehensible freak-treat which exists somewhere between hype video, found footage horror parody, and Inland Empire companion piece. When my friend spelunked it from the depths of Amazon’s virtual bargain bin, we both assumed it was a Wayans brothers-type Blair Witch goof, starring various hip-hop artists in cameo roles. What we experienced instead was something far more unique, confusing, and riotously entertaining than we ever could’ve imagined, and before long we were lost in the sauce like Heather, Mike, and Josh in the summer of ‘99. This movie will change your life…. assuming you can survive it.

You’ll need all the help you can get. From the starting gun, Da Hip Hop Witch offers very little solid ground on which to stand or orient yourself. After the prerequisite Blair Witch exposition card parodies, Hip Hop Witch spins out a protracted opening title credits sequence, injected between the caffeinated introduction of anywhere from six to nine discrete plots and subplots. An aspiring rapper makes a deal with a mysterious producer named Lazarus. A woman takes a job at a hack tabloid magazine. A group of druggy white folks in Salem set out to find “The Black Witch of the Projects,” and more and more and more. How do these threads eventually connect? I have no idea. These myriad, tangled beginnings weave with reports from “Hip Hop Witch TV,” and candid footage of real-life rappers and hip-hop artists improvising witness accounts of da titular Witch.

These reports of “witch bitch” encounters spread throughout the film, but the most notable of them is delivered by Marshall Mathers himself, who recounts in many parts an incident where he took ecstasy and the Witch stuck her "basketball fingers" up his ass. Eminem later unsuccessfully sued to have his scenes removed from this film. Quickly and aggressively, Witch settles into a gripping, eldritch rhythm of bizarre plot beats and ad-libbed jokes and home video footage and montages and Vanilla Ice appearances and news bulletins and flashbacks and seances and inserts and just whatever, like literally whatever, for anywhere between one and three hours. Then, it suddenly concludes with one of the craziest endings I've ever seen, and that's Da Hip Hop Witch.

Like recounting the events of a dream, it’s impossible to convey the absolute strangeness of Da Hip Hop Witch in writing. The movie’s combination of z-grade shot-on-video narrative filmmaking and “let’s get high fuck around” improvised bits conjure an intoxicating filmic cocktail, which is simultaneously completely impenetrable and totally engrossing. One of Witch’s greatest strengths is that it rarely lingers on a segment for more than three minutes at a time, often cutting away abruptly or even halfway through a sentence. Plot threads are introduced, dropped in the middle of a scene, and brought back with a jolt twenty minutes later. With no exaggeration, there is not a single moment in this film where you'll be able to guess what occurs next. That's a big reason why I love it.

Another motivation for my affection is that it's hard to find genuine mind-melter movies, but Da Hip Hop Witch passes with flying colors. At the risk of academizing a quick-and-dirty Blair parody, Hip Hop Witch is less of a narrative film and more of a fragmentary, associative experience. Even once the fistful of plots run together and ostensibly connect, it's a challenge to grok exactly what's going on, to say nothing of Witch’s delirious concluding moments. The cumulative effect on your brain is that of gently running a hair dryer over particularly tender gelato. If you’re sober you’ll have your jaw dropped; if you’re high you’ll have an out-of-body experience. Either way, you won’t believe what you’re seeing - I spent the first ten minutes completely enraptured, head in my hands, horrified and giddy. Cannot recommend enough.

What I’ve covered here barely even touches the deep, baffling iceberg of Da Hip Hop Witch, but it’s not a movie I want to spoil. I’m not sure it’s even a movie I can spoil - knowing that Eminem’s witch tale concludes with his arm shoved fully up her ass does nothing to rob the ramble of its elemental power. Vanilla Ice disses the witch while getting a tattoo, an interview suddenly concludes with a freeze-frame and the character’s death date, a montage unrolls like a YouTube Poop set to totally unrelated audio, and a woman in a hot pink Party City bob wig parodies Heather Blairwitch’s teary camera confession without a hint of irony. There is so, so much enjoyable stuff in here, but it’s the kind of megalithic movie which leaves you shellshocked once it ends. Slim Shady was right: be careful if you fuck with Da Hip Hop Witch.

Da Hip Hop Witch ★ 2000 (R)

Not so much a parody of “Blair Witch Project” as a collection of rap artists' un-scripted monologues about a woman who is doing terrible things to them. It also marks the return to the screen of Vanilla Ice, last seen in the abominable “Cool As Ice.” 93m/C VHS, DVD . Stacii Jae Johnson, Dale Resteghini, Pras, Killah Priest, Spliff Star, Mobb Deep, Eminem, Rock, Colleen (Ann) Fitzpatrick; D: Dale Resteghini; W: Dale Resteghini.

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Da hip hop witch

'The Black Witch of the Projects' attacks the rap stars. It looks like a beautiful woman but turns later into a freakish monster. A very bad groupie probably. The rap producers offer ten million dollars for capturing the witch. Five white kids from Salem with Will (Dale Resteghini) as their leader travel to NYC and try to blackmail rap moguls. Street Don (La the Darkman) makes a bad deal with Big Z (Elijah Rhoades) who wants to take over his company. Street Don gets actually murdered at some point. Ghetto homeboys want to whack the witch. Mr Krump (David Scott Klein) the media mogul wants a good spoof so that means job for tabloid reporter Miss Josephine (Sherrita Duran). Her new secretary Dee Dee Washington (Stacii Jae Johnson) suspects that the witch is only a story told to boost record sales. Whatever. Nothing of that matters.

So what we have one and a half hours (that feels like 12 hours) of detached scenes of rappers talking dirty and smoking weed, gangstas blustering and idiots cruising on the streets. At least the director knows a lot of rappers as numerous stars including Eminem, Ja Rule, Pras, Mobb Deep, Vitamin C, Rah Digga and Vanilla Ice(!) appear as themselves in endless series of interviews where they tell about their incoherent encounters with the witch. Especially Eminem gets extremely tiresome when he repeats and repeats and repeats (AAAARGH!) the story about how he went to some party in hope of getting free drugs and ended up being molested by the witch (and revealing something about his sexual fetishes that we really didn't want to know).

The movie is shot with handheld cameras in faux documentary style (= it looks like crap). It looks as if the cameramen were just as stoned as the rappers. Frankly, most home movies look better than this. Plotwise (when it finally gets going in the last twenty minutes) it is a rough parody of 'Blair Witch Project' and one of the terrible ripoffs that tried to piggyback on the popularity of the original.

I have seen some bottom-of-the-barrel hip hop/gangsta movies (for example "The Wrecking Crew" and "Hood Angels") but this one is more like a hole in the barrel. If I someday make a list of worst hip hop films, this will rank in the top positions.

The movie was made just before Eminem's big break. It was so terrible that he wanted his scenes removed from the film. However the demands were overruled. To add to the insult the distributor Artisan Entertainment inserted a big picture of him in the VHS and DVD covers. Just about the only good thing about it is that it kinda works as an anti-drug education. Don't do drugs or you may agree to appear in films like this.

Starring: Eminem, Ja Rule, Pras, Vanilla Ice, Rah Digga, Mobb Deep, Charli Baltimore, Dale Resteghini, Steve Grillo, William Harbour, Amy Dorris, Mia Tyler, Spliff Starr, Stacii Jae Johnson, Vitamin C, Benzino, Jonathan Martin, Rock, Michelle Bernard, David Scott Klein, Sherrita Duran, Elijah Rhoades, Tony Prendatt, Namakula the Goddess, La the Darkman, Afu Ra, Professor X, Charlene Quashie, Culver Casson, Jolene Vettese, Pamela Schamberge, Dina Herdigein, Deborah Rigaud, Lucien Taylor, Raven Davis, Beverly Peele, Killah Priest, Royce 5'9", The Outsidaz, Severe, Hell Razah, Dyme, The Cella Dwellas, Lord Jamar, Lidu Rock, Deuce Dutch, 44 Fiedel, Dani Girl, Ill One, Jo Jo, Made Men, 803, Makeba Mooncycle, TC, Diezzle Don, Rhytm Trip, Northstar & Deniro, Chris Simmons, Hangmen 3, Sci, reg reg, Eric Rhea, Parker Holt, Jordan Ashley
Director: Dale Resteghini

Da Hip Hop Witch

Combining two of the most shamelessly opportunistic trends of the past few years, Da Hip Hop Witch offers a rapsploitation take on The Blair Witch Project, the horror verité blockbuster that now rivals Star Wars as the most spoofed movie of all time. Using The Blair Witch Project's ultra-low-budget documentary framework as an excuse to abandon any pretense of professionalism, Da Hip Hop Witch stars writer-director Dale Resteghini as one of five white suburban kids who set out to find the beast responsible for a series of attacks on rappers. Stacie Jae Johnson co-stars as an aspiring reporter who investigates the attacks, hoping to use the story as a springboard for a career as a journalist. But the meat of Da Hip Hop Witch, and its primary selling point, is a series of cameos from rappers, including Eminem, who later sensibly requested his scenes be deleted. Like many rapsploitation efforts, Da Hip Hop Witch reverts to a sort of pre-narrative spectacle paradigm, in which plot and characterization are secondary to the thrill of actually seeing videotaped images of real-life hip-hop stars. Similarly, its loose, improvisational quality seems attributable less to any sort of aesthetic sensibility than to sheer laziness, the recourse of filmmakers unwilling or unable to write an actual script. An ineptly filmed, atrociously acted nadir for both Blair Witch spoofs and rapsploitation—two mini-movements that weren't exactly pumping out great art to begin with—Da Hip Hop Witch ends with the words "To Be Continued," a threat far scarier than anything in the film itself.

The main idea of Da Hip Hop Witch revolves around the search for a supernatural being that is targeting hip-hop artists..

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Reviews for "The Cult following of "Da Hip Hop Witch": How the Film Became an Underground Sensation"

1. John - 2 stars - I was really disappointed with "Da hip hop witch". The concept seemed interesting, but the execution fell flat. The acting was incredibly amateurish, and the dialogue was cringe-worthy at times. The storyline lacked coherence and seemed to be all over the place. Overall, it felt like a poorly made low-budget film trying too hard to be edgy and unique.

2. Sarah - 1 star - "Da hip hop witch" was one of the worst movies I've ever seen. The whole film felt like a cheap attempt to cash in on the popularity of hip-hop culture at the time. The acting was atrocious, and the plot made no sense whatsoever. It seemed as if the entire movie was thrown together without any thought or effort. I would strongly advise anyone to avoid wasting their time on this dreadful film.

3. Mark - 2 stars - I had high hopes for "Da hip hop witch", but unfortunately, it didn't meet my expectations. The movie felt disjointed and lacked a clear direction. The attempts at humor were forced and simply not funny. The only redeeming aspect was the soundtrack, which had some catchy hip-hop beats. But overall, I found the film to be a confusing mess that failed to deliver on its promise.

4. Emily - 1 star - "Da hip hop witch" was an absolute disaster. The acting was cringe-worthy, with actors who seemed completely out of their element. The plot was convoluted and hard to follow, with unnecessary subplots that went nowhere. The whole film seemed like a desperate attempt to capitalize on trends without any substance. I would strongly advise against wasting your time on this awful movie.

Da Hip Hop Witch" and Satanic Panic: Exploring the Moral Panic Surrounding the Film's Release