Predictions for the Boston Celtics in the Magic Summer League

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The Celtics' Magic Summer League prediction has been a topic of discussion among basketball fans. Many are curious to see how the team will perform and what young talent may emerge during this time. The Summer League is an opportunity for teams to evaluate their young players and see how they fare against other NBA hopefuls. For the Celtics, this is especially important as they look to build on their already talented roster. One player to watch during the Summer League is Payton Pritchard, the Celtics' first-round pick in the 2020 NBA Draft. Pritchard had a successful college career at Oregon and could make an immediate impact for the Celtics.



Prankster owns Alex Jones with ridiculous pitch for Infowars mascot

In a grift for the ages, comedian and former ClickHole writer Cole Hersch managed to appear on InfoWars, a show that somehow still exists, to pitch a unique mascot to the show's hosts.

Hersch, who gained online popularity via video app Vine and has been described as a "professional social media trickster," tweeted a segment of InfoWars on Friday in which he pitched a potential show mascot to far-right extremist and conspiracy theorist Alex Jones. The pitch mocks everything InfoWars and Jones stand for, from aggressively heterosexual patriotism to cuckoo conspiracy theories about vaccines.

A heads up: the pitch contains very NSFW language.

Hersch's mascot is a "large, veiny American flag whose limbs are AR-15s." His name? Cuck Slayer. He is "so straight that he's always pissed off." The potential InfoWars symbol loves to "go down on every ICE agent he sees" while still saluting them.

"Cuck Slayer will be given his own segment called InfantWars, where he'll sneak inside children's hospitals and go room to room, sucking the vaccines out of newborns like snake venom," Hersch recites with a remarkably straight face.

Cuck Slayer will also ambush Planned Parenthoods with "re-bortions," which is, as Hersch put it, "exactly what it sounds like."

While Hersch read from his pitch, Jones appeared just as baffled as the rest of us when we are forced to endure his show.

Despite blatantly making fun of Jones and his show's stances, Hersch was allowed to pitch his mascot in full.

"Thank you," Jones said when Hersch concluded his pitch, apparently at a loss for words. "I love that. He sucks out the deadly vaccines like cobra poison."

It is unclear if Jones took this pitch seriously or if his brains are just too addled to grasp what was happening.

In the last few months, Hersch has made it his mission to come up with absurd mascots. He went viral in September when he snuck into a Zoom meeting for Saddleback College students to discuss replacing their very unfortunate mascot, "Gaucho," with a more culturally sensitive one. Hersch pitched "TittyPussy," a "woke, sloppy goblin girl" who rides around campus in roller skates and encompasses everything conservatives fear in progressive institutions — which is probably how he ended up on InfoWars.

Hersch has also pitched "FuckAss," a potential Walgreens mascot whose pastimes include guzzling shampoo and skateboarding.

The exchange about Cuck Slayer appears at the 1:23-minute mark in Jones' show from Oct. 9, which still appears on YouTube despite the social media company's ban of his show and its particular brand of insidious conspiracy and misplaced rage.

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Pritchard had a successful college career at Oregon and could make an immediate impact for the Celtics. Another player to keep an eye on is Aaron Nesmith, the Celtics' 2020 lottery pick. Nesmith is known for his shooting ability and could provide some much-needed scoring off the bench for the Celtics.

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Celtics magic summer league prediction

In addition to these rookies, the Celtics will also have returning players like Romeo Langford and Grant Williams participating in the Summer League. Both of these players have shown potential but have yet to fully break out in the NBA. The Summer League could be a perfect opportunity for them to showcase their skills and prove they deserve more playing time. Overall, the Celtics' Magic Summer League prediction is that the team will have a successful showing. With a mix of talented rookies and experienced young players, the team has the potential to make a splash and gain valuable experience before the start of the regular season. Fans will be eagerly watching to see which players shine and what the future holds for the Celtics..

Reviews for "Breaking down the Celtics' Summer League schedule and opponents"

1. John - 2 stars
I was highly disappointed with the Celtics' performance during the summer league. Despite the high expectations and the so-called "magic" prediction, they failed to deliver. The team lacked coordination and seemed disorganized on the court. Additionally, their shooting accuracy was abysmal. It was a frustrating experience to watch as a fan, and I hope they improve in the upcoming season.
2. Emily - 1 star
The Celtics' summer league prediction of magic was nothing but empty hype. The team struggled to find any rhythm or cohesion on the court. Their defense was lackluster, and they allowed easy baskets for their opponents. Moreover, there were numerous turnovers and sloppy mistakes throughout the games. Overall, it was a lackluster performance from the Celtics, and I am not convinced by their abilities moving forward.
3. Mark - 2 stars
The Celtics' summer league performance did not live up to the predicted magic. Their offense was stagnant, with players struggling to create opportunities and score efficiently. The team lacked a clear game plan and seemed uncertain about their roles on the court. Defensively, they were not much better, allowing their opponents to exploit their weaknesses easily. It was a disappointing showing from the Celtics, and I hope they can regroup and improve in the regular season.
4. Sarah - 1 star
I was completely underwhelmed by the Celtics' summer league performance. There was no magic to be found in their game. They lacked intensity and energy, often being outplayed by their opponents. The team's decision-making was questionable, with poor shot selection and turnovers. It seemed like they were going through the motions without any real passion or drive. Overall, the Celtics' summer league was a forgettable experience, and I hope to see better performances in the future.

Key players to watch from the Celtics in the Magic Summer League

How will the Celtics' Summer League performances impact their regular season?