In recent news, a fascinating sight captivated the attention of onlookers in a small town square. A 12 ft levitating witch became the talk of the town, captivating both young and old alike. Spectators marvelled at the seemingly impossible feat, questioning the laws of gravity. The witch appeared to float effortlessly in mid-air, her broomstick casting an enchanting glow as it hovered beneath her. The air was filled with a mixture of awe, wonder, and curiosity as people speculated about the origins of this extraordinary display. The local community was abuzz with theories, with some suggesting supernatural forces were at play while others surmised that advanced technology was responsible.
The local community was abuzz with theories, with some suggesting supernatural forces were at play while others surmised that advanced technology was responsible. Despite the varied opinions, everyone agreed on one thing - witnessing this levitating witch was a truly magical experience. People flocked to the town square, hoping to catch a glimpse of this mesmerizing sight and perhaps uncover the secret behind this levitation.
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters?
Alright, so I don’t want to make movie reviews a regular thing, because normally I save those for when I absolutely can’t think of anything else to write about, but this movie was so hilariously bad I just had to tell you about it.
So everyone knows the story of Hansel and Gretel. Two kids are lost in the woods, they find a cabin made of candy and start eating it, the witch who lives there catches them and tries to make them fat so she can eat them….and the ending varies.
In this version, Hansel and Gretel are siblings whose father takes them out in the woods, at night, and just leaves them there. So they find the candy cabin, and the witch makes Hansel eat and Gretel do slavework. Gretel’s stoking the oven fire, when she steals a knife, cuts her bonds, and stabs the witch several times before, with the help of her brother, shoving the witch into the oven and turning the heat up. “Is it hot enough for you now?” Snarky last lines become Gretel’s thing. Then off the two children go, holding hands, and they grow up into legendary witch hunters.
We come back into the story as an innocent woman, Mina, is being tried as a witch by some d-bag antagonist, and the siblings show up to prove her innocence, make a minor enemy, and get hired by the mayor to deal with a rash of missing children that are clearly the work of a witch. The problem is, they show up with huge, fancily engraved and very badass guns that are extraordinarily wrong for the time period. The witch hunts in Europe were around the early 1400s, and while they might have had a few small guns, like single shot pistol type guns, they did not have huge engraved ones, and they most definitely did not have machine guns.
It is revealed that because Hansel ate too much of the witch’s candy, he now has to inject himself with medicine every few hours. I’m pretty sure they also did not have syringes back then. Nor record players, which they use to trap another witch later. I’m running out of words, so some weird stuff happens, and the siblings end up separated in the woods. Mina shows up to patch Hansel’s wounds, and they have sex, which I truly believe was only put in so critics didn’t say that Hansel and Gretel were a little too close for family. A big troll named Edward saves Gretel from the d-bag, and when asked why, says “Trolls serve witches.” PLOT TWIST.
It turns out that Hansel and Gretel’s mother was a Grand White Witch, and their father left them in the woods to save them because the townspeople found out. Gretel is a Grand White Witch too, and it’s revealed that the dark Grand Witch Muriel needs her heart, and the blood of twelve children to make a potion that will make dark witches impervious to fire. But with the help of Edward and Mina, Hansel and Gretel make it out alive and kill the grand witch in the candy cabin where it all started.
There’s an unnecessary amount of gore and cussing (I don’t think they said “fuck” back then either), but on the whole it’s not really a bad movie, so if you want a dramatic laugh I would definitely recommend this for a good bad movie night.
Alright, so I don’t want to make movie reviews a regular thing, because normally I save those for when I absolutely can’t think of anything else to write about, but this movie was so hilariously bad I just had to tell you about it.
As the news spread, tourists from neighboring towns started pouring in, contributing to the already bustling atmosphere. The local authorities were quick to capitalize on the attention, organizing a fall festival centered around the levitating witch. Food vendors, artisans, and performers were invited to set up stalls and entertain the enthusiastic crowds. The festival quickly became an annual tradition, drawing visitors from far and wide to witness the enchanting levitation spectacle and partake in the festivities. Through this rather unusual occurrence, the town found itself placed on the map, becoming the go-to destination for those seeking a touch of magic and wonder. The levitating witch became a symbol of unity and celebration, bringing together people from all walks of life. It reminded us of the power of imagination, and the enchantment found in seemingly ordinary places. While the true explanation behind the levitation remained a mystery, its impact on the town was undeniable. The 12 ft levitating witch had transformed a dormant town into a vibrant cultural hub, reminding us all to embrace the extraordinary and find magic in the everyday..
Reviews for "From Movie Screens to Front Yards: How the 12 ft Levitating Witch Became a Halloween Icon"
1. Sarah - 2/5 stars - The "12 ft levitating witch" was a major disappointment for me. First of all, it was much smaller than I expected. The description made it sound like this impressive, towering figure, but it was closer to 6 ft in reality. Additionally, the levitation feature didn't work properly. It would hover off the ground for a few seconds and then suddenly drop back down. Overall, I felt like the product was not worth the price, and I would not recommend it.
2. Robert - 1/5 stars - I had high hopes for the "12 ft levitating witch", but it was a complete letdown. The levitation mechanism was faulty right out of the box. The witch would barely lift off the ground and make strange noises. The prop was also flimsy and poorly constructed. It's a shame because the concept is great, but the execution fell flat. I would advise anyone considering this product to look for alternatives.
3. Emily - 3/5 stars - While I didn't hate the "12 ft levitating witch", I also didn't love it. The levitation feature worked sporadically, and the witch itself was not as impressive as advertised. The material was thin and easily torn, and the overall quality was lacking. I don't regret purchasing it entirely, as it did add some Halloween spirit to my decorations, but I was left feeling underwhelmed. If you're looking for a true showstopper, this might not be the best choice.
4. Jason - 2/5 stars - The "12 ft levitating witch" was a disappointment for me. The levitation mechanism was so weak that the witch would barely leave the ground. It also made a weird buzzing noise when attempting to levitate, which was not pleasant. The overall quality was subpar, with flimsy fabric and poorly constructed joints. I expected better for the price I paid. I cannot recommend this product, as it did not live up to its promises.
5. Michelle - 1/5 stars - The "12 ft levitating witch" was a complete waste of money. The levitation feature barely worked, and when it did, it was underwhelming. The prop itself was poorly made, with loose threads and weak stitching. It's a shame because I was really excited about this product, but it fell far short of my expectations. Save your money and look for a higher quality levitating prop elsewhere.