A pagan relationship refers to a romantic or intimate partnership between two individuals who follow pagan beliefs or practices. Paganism is an umbrella term that encompasses various spiritual traditions, including Wicca, Heathenry, Druidry, and others. In a pagan relationship, both partners often share similar views on nature, spirituality, magic, and the divine. One of the defining features of a pagan relationship is the emphasis on equality and mutual respect. Paganism places a strong emphasis on balance and harmony, and this extends to relationships as well. In a pagan relationship, both partners are seen as equals and are encouraged to communicate openly and honestly with each other.
Pagans and Monogamy
I love letters like this one, because I get to embrace my inner Dan Savage for a few moments.
Not everyone wants an exclusive relationship. Image by Latino Life via Canva.
A reader writes in with an interesting dilemma. He says, “Recently my girlfriend and I began hanging out with a local coven. She is spending a lot of time (without me) in the presence of one of the group’s other male participants. She has said that she’s very attracted to him, and even hinted that she wouldn’t mind sleeping with him. I objected to this because honestly, I’d like our relationship to remain monogamous, but she seems to think that since “all acts of love and pleasure are my rituals,” that she has carte blanche to have sex with others. I know lots of Pagans are polyamorous, but I’m not comfortable with it for myself. Can you weigh in on this?”
Love to. Here’s the thing. If your girlfriend wants to have sex with other people, then she wants to have sex with other people. That has nothing to do with religious beliefs or not. She’s simply using Paganism — specifically, one line from the Charge of the Goddess — as justification.
And sure, there are some Pagans that are polyamorous — there are also some non-Pagans that are involved in poly relationships. There are plenty of people who are okay with open relationships, and don’t at all mind the idea of having consensual recreational sex with someone other than their partner, as long as everyone is open and honest about it.
Likewise, there are many Pagans who are involved in a committed, monogamous relationship with just one person — whether it’s a marriage, a domestic partnership, or just two people who have decided they want to be with each other and nobody else.
To complicate matters further, there are people who are involved in committed, mostly monogamous relationships, who may still engage in sex in a religious context, such as the Great Rite or other ritualized sexual activity.
Just like so many other issues within the Pagan community, it’s hard to say that there’s one specific answer to a question, because there are so many different traditions and belief system that fall under the umbrella of Paganism. There are probably plenty of groups that see a committed relationship — whether it’s marriage or something like it — as something sacred and holy, not to be sullied by shenanigans with fellow coven members.
That said, if you’re not one of those “I’m okay with my partner sleeping with others” people, then you’re just not. And it’s not unreasonable to ask your girlfriend to respect that. However, keep in mind that it’s entirely possible the two of you have very different ideas about what your relationship actually is. It’s also possible that she’s someone who doesn’t think that monogamy is that important — and if she is, there’s nothing wrong with that either, but it can certainly make it hard for you, if you’re a person who DOES think monogamy is a big deal.
So, just like many of the other questions that roll into my Magical Mailbag, I’m going to offer you much the same advice as I give other people in various circumstances: COMMUNICATE.
Talk to your girlfriend, and listen to her. Is she interested in a relationship with this other man, or just a romp in the sack? Or is she just trying to see what kind of reaction she’ll get out of you? See if you can find some compromise — or see if you have to lay some boundaries. The important thing here is going to be communication, and if you work at it, and the two of you can talk through this, you should be just fine. Otherwise, you’ll have to figure out if you can live with the price of admission for this relationship, whatever it may end up being.
Pagans and Polyamory
Patti Wigington is a pagan author, educator, and licensed clergy. She is the author of Daily Spellbook for the Good Witch, Wicca Practical Magic and The Daily Spell Journal.
Updated on February 21, 2018Because most Pagans are pretty liberal-minded when it comes to bedroom-related stuff, it's not uncommon to find people in the Pagan community who are part of a polyamorous relationship. Before we get into the whys and hows, though, let's clear up a few definitions so we're all on the same page.
In a pagan relationship, both partners are seen as equals and are encouraged to communicate openly and honestly with each other. Both individuals have their own unique strengths and weaknesses, and these are celebrated and supported within the relationship. Pagan relationships also often involve a deep connection with nature.
Polygamy vs Polyamory
Polygamy is not the same as polyamory. Polygamy is found in cultures all over the world, but in the Western world it's often linked to fringe religious groups. Most polygamist groups that receive publicity in North America and the United Kingdom are heterosexual, religious based organizations that promote marriage between an older male and multiple younger females. In these situations, the wives are not permitted to have any sort of sexual relationship with anyone other than their husband, and the man's word is law. However, these are not the only kind of polygamist groups; there are some in which marriages are only made between consenting adults. This second group, in which everyone consents, typically is forced to keep their polygamous relationships secret, because of fears that they will be lumped in with the fringe groups who prey on underage girls in the name of religion.
Polyamory, on the other hand, is not related to marriage at all, although it's not uncommon to find polyamorous people who have had a commitment ceremony with one or more of their partners. Polyamory means a group of three or more people who have loving and committed relationships with one another. Open communication between all parties prevents anyone from feeling unequal, and both male and female partners make sure that any boundaries are set ahead of time.
Many pagans believe in the interconnectedness of all things and strive to live in harmony with the natural world. Therefore, in a pagan relationship, spending time outdoors, participating in nature-based rituals, and honoring the changing seasons may be an important part of the partnership. Magic and ritual are also significant components of pagan relationships. Pagan couples may engage in spellwork, divination, and other magical practices together. These activities can help deepen their bond and create a sense of shared purpose in their relationship. Furthermore, pagan relationships often prioritize personal growth and spiritual development. Each partner is encouraged to embark on their own individual spiritual journey while supporting and encouraging their partner in theirs. This may involve attending pagan events and gatherings, reading spiritual texts, and practicing meditation or other spiritual exercises together. In conclusion, a pagan relationship is a romantic partnership where both individuals follow pagan beliefs and practices. These relationships emphasize equality, respect, connection with nature, and a shared commitment to personal and spiritual growth. By incorporating elements of magic, ritual, and nature into their partnership, pagan couples strive to create a deep and meaningful connection with each other and the world around them..
Reviews for "The Art of Divination in Pagan Relationships"
1. John - 1 star
I found "Pagan Relationship" to be extremely disappointing. The storyline was lackluster and predictable, with no depth or originality. The characters felt one-dimensional and their relationships felt forced and unrealistic. Overall, I couldn't connect with the story or the characters, and it left me uninterested and bored.
2. Sarah - 2 stars
I had high hopes for "Pagan Relationship" but was ultimately let down. The book started off promising, but quickly became repetitive and cliché. The writing style was uninspired, and the dialogue felt forced and unnatural. The plot lacked substance and failed to engage me. I was hoping for more depth and complexity, but unfortunately, it fell flat.
3. David - 1 star
"Pagan Relationship" was a complete waste of time. The characters were unlikeable and lacked development, making it impossible to relate to or care about their journeys. The story itself was contrived and uninteresting, and I found myself skimming through pages just to get it over with. The author's attempt at romance felt forced and artificial. I would not recommend this book to anyone looking for a meaningful and engaging read.
4. Emily - 2 stars
I was disappointed with "Pagan Relationship" as it didn't live up to my expectations. The storyline was predictable and lacked originality. The characters felt shallow and their interactions seemed contrived. The romantic aspect of the book felt cliché and unrealistic. Overall, it failed to captivate me or leave a lasting impression. I would not recommend it to those seeking a compelling and thought-provoking read.
5. Michael - 1 star
"Pagan Relationship" was a tedious read. The plot was uneventful and lacked any surprises or twists. The characters were poorly developed, making it difficult to connect or care about their fates. The writing style was dry and dull, failing to engage me on any level. I struggled to find any redeeming qualities in this book and would not recommend it to anyone seeking a captivating and engaging story.