The Magic Kegel Master is a revolutionary device designed to help individuals strengthen their pelvic floor muscles. This innovative tool uses a combination of technology and traditional exercise techniques to provide users with an effective way to improve their pelvic health. The pelvic floor muscles play a crucial role in supporting the pelvic organs, maintaining bladder control, and enhancing sexual satisfaction. However, these muscles can weaken over time due to factors such as pregnancy, childbirth, age, and obesity. Weak pelvic floor muscles can lead to various problems, including urinary incontinence, pelvic organ prolapse, and decreased sexual pleasure. The Magic Kegel Master aims to address these issues by providing a targeted workout for the pelvic floor muscles.
Sir George may have an unfair advantage on this trip. His mother Sybil, who is apparently an immortal sorceress herself, gave him some pretty fancy gifts for his twenty-first birthday, including a magic steed, magic armor, a magic sword, and six brainwashed companions with stereotypical accents. Sir Branton, however, is actually in cahoots with Lodac, and intends to win by blackmailing the magician into stacking events in his favour. Sir George is Gary Lockwood from 2001: A Space Odyssey. Sir Branton looks like a 60’s shoestring-budget version of Dr. Strange.
In fact, the problem may be that there are too many knights here scheming Sir Branton and naive Sir George have both sworn to rescue and marry Helene. Yet this also gives us a very poor impression of her parenting, since it seems like she doesn t actually know George well enough to tell whether he s ready for knighthood or not.
The Magic Kegel Master aims to address these issues by providing a targeted workout for the pelvic floor muscles. The device consists of a silicone sphere that is inserted into the vagina. Once inserted, the device connects to a smartphone app, allowing users to track their progress and customize their workouts.
The MST3K Project
A Bert I. Gordon movie that’s not about some creature growing to improbable size and going on a rampage? Yeah, I wouldn’t have believed it, either, but here it is. The result isn’t really all that bad by MST3K standards, anyway, and for as simplistic a story as it is, it contains a surprising amount of food for thought.
Princess Helene has been kidnapped by the evil sorcerer Lodac, who intends to feed her to his pet dragon. Lucky for her, the sorts of worlds that have evil wizards and dragons also have lots of knights errant just itching for a damsel to save. In fact, the problem may be that there are too many knights here – scheming Sir Branton and naive Sir George have both sworn to rescue and marry Helene. The question is less whether they’ll be able to overcome Lodac’s seven curses than whether they’ll be able to stop bickering with each other long enough to try.
Sir George may have an unfair advantage on this trip. His mother Sybil, who is apparently an immortal sorceress herself, gave him some pretty fancy gifts for his twenty-first birthday, including a magic steed, magic armor, a magic sword, and six brainwashed companions with stereotypical accents. Sir Branton, however, is actually in cahoots with Lodac, and intends to win by blackmailing the magician into stacking events in his favour. Sir George is Gary Lockwood from 2001: A Space Odyssey. Sir Branton looks like a 60’s shoestring-budget version of Dr. Strange.
Like Jack Frost or The Magic Voyage of Sinbad, the world presented by The Magic Sword is a fairy tale, and it’s not really supposed to be taken seriously. It’s a series of tropes, and thinking too hard about them quickly shows up their many absurdities. The dragon eats princesses. How many kingdoms are there around here to provide it with at least one princess every week? Real-world European countries like Spain and Germany exist, yet the kingdom we’re in is given no name and the characters speak in a mix of British and American accents. How do all those plants grow in a swamp full of boiling-hot acid? How can George just waltz into the castle and announce that he’s a knight when nobody’s ever heard of him?
I could fill the entire review with questions like this, but I already did that for It Lives by Night. Besides, unlike that movie there’s a bit more going on here than sheer confusion. For all it is a very silly movie, The Magic Sword does seem to have a couple of points to make. The first of these is perhaps contained in the way George and Helene fall in love with images of one another, long before they actually meet.
In a lot of fairy tales, we wouldn’t be supposed to worry about what Helene thinks of the contest for her hand. She would be a passive prize awarded to the winner. It is to The Magic Sword’s considerable credit that it does take her feelings into account. Helene does not like Sir Branton, but she doesn’t even know Sir George. George doesn’t know Helene, either – he’s never met her. Instead, his hobby for the last little while has been using a magic pond to spy on her while she bathes. Yikes. Helene gets a similar, though less stalkery, preview of George by watching him in Lodac’s magic mirror, and decides she loves him based on that and the fact that he’s not Sir Branton. It’s not particularly enlightened, but it’s better than things like the pre-Disney version of Sleeping Beauty, where the first time she meets the prince is when he kisses her awake.
In modern times, this arm’s-length romance might be seen as analagous to an internet relationship. In the 60’s, it seems more like an attempt to note that women as much as men are capable of idealizing and objectifying the opposite sex. Helene and George, both raised in isolation, are probably particularly prone to idealistic fantasies, and they’re just lucky they live in a fantasy world where this leads to True Love instead of crushing disappointment.
Somewhat more interesting is Sybil the sorceress’ fixation on her foster son’s twenty-first birthday. She shows him the various gifts she has prepared for him, and when he points out that he could use them to rescue Helene, Sybil tells him firmly that you’re not old enough, you wouldn’t know how to use them. The child who believes himself to be an adult while the parent knows better is familiar enough, but the use of the birthday as such an important turning point, as if George will pupate and emerge as a whole new being, is rather strange. What does this mean?
Actual adolescence is a series of such ‘turning point’ ages. At sixteen, for example, a young person may get a driver’s license. This idea is so familiar to us that we rarely think about how arbitrary it is. There are eighteen-year-olds in the world who are in no way responsible enough to drive a car (hell, there are forty-year-olds who aren’t, and unfortunately a lot of them drive cars anyway), while there are also twelve-year-olds who could probably do just fine at it. The law has to draw a line somewhere, and sixteen is old enough for most people’s feet to reach the pedals. Similar limits are placed on voting, drinking, and being prosecuted for certain types of crimes. In all cases, whether an individual is really capable of the types of decisions involved varies wildly, but the law cannot afford to be subtle.
If the law of the land where George and Sybil live says a man may become a knight at twenty-one, then Sybil’s insistence makes at least some sense. What seems very strange is that Sybil herself, in conversation with her two-headed henchman, seems to believe that George is literally still a child until this birthday, and will instantly become an adult after it. In the real world, parents may be expected to know their children better than an arbitrary law does, and may allow a responsible child to drink a little alcohol at home or drive a truck around the family farm. Sybil, however, seems blind to George’s actual maturity – or lack thereof. If she were to tell him that he cannot go rescue Helene because he doesn’t have enough training in arms, or because he’s an idiot who thinks he’s in love with a woman he’s never met, she would have a point. Instead, she tells him he is incapable of knowing how to fight until he is twenty-one.
I think what we may be supposed to take from this is that Sybil, who is by her own admission over four hundred years old, simply has no idea how normal people grow up and is therefore taking the law as her guide. With this in mind, she possibly hopes that turning twenty-one will be the moment George grows out of doing stupid things like using magic ponds to spy on naked women and deciding he’s in love with them (she does seem surprised that he’s no longer amused by her shapeshifting abilities). Yet this also gives us a very poor impression of her parenting, since it seems like she doesn’t actually know George well enough to tell whether he’s ready for knighthood or not.
The movie furthermore hints that Sybil had an ulterior motive for taking George in. Lodac was apparently responsible for the deaths of several of her relatives, and she tells George that when he is twenty-one, the gifts she has prepared for him will enable him to take her revenge on the sorcerer. She then adds Helene to the list of things to be avenged – it’s as if she prefers to leave this woman to die, on the grounds that it will make the vengeance extra-vengeful! George is less a son to her than a potential instrument of Lodac’s comeuppance, and she has accordingly raised him to be a warrior, kind of like Thomas Day trying to raise Sabrina Sidney to be the ideal wife. It’s a good thing this movie is so harmlessly Disneyish or that could have gotten really fucking dark.
If this was in fact Sybil’s plan (and the movie is far from clear about it), then she really has no right to be surprised at George’s running away. After being told his whole life that he will someday take her revenge on Lodac, she tries to stop him from doing exactly that because he is a few months too young. Sybil is at first angry about George’s 'betrayal’, but as the movie continues she grows increasingly desperate to help him. Perhaps she has finally realized that her son is a human being with priorities and desires of his own, and that her job as mother figure is to support. Or maybe she just doesn’t want her revenge ruined. I can’t tell. At the climax of the film, it actually seems that Sybil was right about George not know what he’s doing – once his sword and armor are shorn of their magic, he very nearly becomes dragon chow. Sybil has to step in and take out Lodac herself, making Sir George the second MST3K hero (after Lemminkäinen) whose Mom has come bail him out!
Finally, I’d like to observe that you can see bits and pieces of Bert I. Gordon’s obsession with scale poking through the weeds of this movie, even though the story never focuses on it. Some of the shots of Lodac’s ogre are classic BIG, and there’s the amusing sequence in which George is rescued from prison by a group of tiny peasants. The effects are not set up any differently than they were in Gordon’s earlier work, being back-projections and split screens, but the technology has improved and they look quite nice. As Tom Servo noted, this one’s really pretty good for a Bert I. Gordon movie, and it’s interesting that, no matter what the material, he found a place for his favourite technique.
- kitgirl91 понравилось это
Bert I. Gordon movies and medieval/fantasy flicks make for great episodes and this is no exception. The thing I like about Gordon is even though his movies are so cheesy, he always seemed to put a nice amount of real effort into their production. This is a nicely shot movie for the time. Not much else I can add that hasn’t been covered, very good riffing and fun skits, the movie and the show just compliment each other. The Brains are obviously medieval fantasy geeks and they have a lot of fun with it which is infectious. Just wanted to also note that the fate of the villain having his head magically removed by the sorcerer and instantly mounted on the wall is a pretty creepy and disturbing visual for an old fantasy movie. 3 likes
The app provides various exercises and routines that are designed to target different areas of the pelvic floor muscles. Users can choose from a range of resistance levels and track their progress over time. The device also includes a vibration feature, which can provide additional stimulation and help increase muscle activation. Using the Magic Kegel Master regularly can lead to significant improvements in pelvic health. Studies have shown that regular kegel exercises can help reduce urinary incontinence, improve sexual function, and enhance overall quality of life. By incorporating the device into their routine, users can take control of their pelvic health and experience the benefits of a stronger pelvic floor. In addition to its physical benefits, the Magic Kegel Master also offers convenience and discretion. The device is compact and discreet, allowing users to perform their exercises in the privacy of their own home. The smartphone app provides guidance and support, making it easy for users to incorporate the device into their daily routine. Overall, the Magic Kegel Master is a game-changer for pelvic health. With its combination of advanced technology and effective exercise techniques, this device offers a convenient and efficient way to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles. By using the Magic Kegel Master regularly, individuals can improve their pelvic health and enjoy the benefits of a stronger pelvic floor..
Reviews for "The Magic Kegel Master: Supercharge Your Intimate Life"
1. John - 1/5 stars - I was really disappointed with the Magic kegel master. It is advertised as a revolutionary device for kegel exercises, but in reality, it is just a cheaply made plastic contraption that offers no real results. Despite following the instructions carefully and using it regularly, I didn't notice any improvement in my pelvic floor muscles. Save your money and look for a more effective kegel exercise product.
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3. Michael - 2/5 stars - I found the Magic kegel master to be quite ineffective for strengthening my pelvic floor muscles. The device itself seemed poorly designed, and I struggled to use it comfortably. Despite using it regularly for several weeks, I didn't notice any significant improvement in my pelvic floor strength. I would recommend looking for alternative options that have better reviews and testimonials before investing in this product.
4. Emily - 1/5 stars - The Magic kegel master was a complete disappointment for me. The instructions were confusing and didn't provide clear guidance on how to properly use the device. Additionally, the product itself felt cheap and poorly made, making me question its reliability. In terms of results, I didn't notice any improvement in my pelvic floor strength after using it for an extended period. I would not recommend wasting your money on this subpar kegel exercise tool.