A Pagan bonding ceremony is a spiritual celebration that seeks to unite two individuals in a sacred and meaningful way. Drawing on ancient traditions and practices, it honors the natural world, the divine, and the joining of two souls. Paganism, often associated with nature-based religions, embraces a broad range of beliefs and practices. It recognizes the interconnectedness of all beings, both seen and unseen, and the importance of living in harmony with the cycles of the earth and the cosmos. In a pagan bonding ceremony, the couple typically gathers in a natural setting, such as a grove, garden, or beach, to honor and invoke the elements (earth, air, fire, and water) and other deities or spirits they resonate with. These invocations seek the blessings and support of the divine for their union.
Inside the circle, you could find an altar with common ritual items like a cup, knife, and trowel. Salt (earth), a feather (air), a candle (fire), and a bowl of water (the fifth element) are all things you might find in an elemental shrine.
Even though pagans have been wrongly accused of using black magic throughout history, their religion is older than many of the world s major religions. The handfasting vows that a couple will make to each other in front of their deities will be discussed and settled upon in advance by the couple in conjunction with the Priestess or Priest performing the ritual.
These invocations seek the blessings and support of the divine for their union. Rituals and customs vary among different pagan traditions, but common elements often include the creation of a sacred space, the exchange of vows or commitments, the exchange of symbolic gifts, the binding of hands or other physical gestures, the sharing of a sacred meal, and the offering of prayers or blessings. Many pagan bonding ceremonies also involve the participation of family, friends, or members of the community.
What is a Handfasting Ceremony? (And How To Do It!)
When planning your wedding ceremony, there are so many different elements to choose from to personalise your wedding. From music, to readings and rituals, the hardest part will be narrowing down the ones you feel express who you are as a couple. From the reading of vows and ring exchange, to sand pouring and tree planting, rituals are a huge part of what makes a wedding ceremony special (we have a list of them here!). If you're having a religious ceremony, these rituals will likely be dictated by your religion but for a secular or symbolic ceremony, you really are spoiled for choice. Handfasting is a very popular ritual, so we've put together a easy how-to, with everything from the meaning behind handfasting and what you need, to how to have a handfasting ceremony in your wedding.
What is Handfasting?
Hand-fasting is a symbolic unity ritual in which a couple stand face to face as their hands are tied together - hence the phrase, tying the knot! As your hands are bound, you can recite words that express your commitment to one another. Handfasting rituals are associated with Pagan ceremonies, but are now often seen in secular, spiritual, and even some Christian ceremonies.
What Does Handfasting Symbolise?
Handfasting ceremonies date back over 2000 years. An ancient Celtic tradition, it was originally used to symbolise a betrothal, during which a druid priest would declare that the couple would be bound together. This engagement would last a year, as a sort of 'trial marriage', after which you'd decide to opt in or opt out. In later times, it was used in a marriage ceremony, in lieu of the presence of a priest. Today, Celtic handfasting rituals are particularly common among couples from overseas getting married in Ireland and Scotland. But more and more Irish and British couples are featuring them in their own ceremonies too to symbolise the binding together of their separate lives and the commitment they're making together.
What's a Handfasting Cord?
A handfasting cord is a ribbon, or long piece of fabric used to bind your hands. Some couples use one or two cords, others use several. You can use simple lengths of lace or ribbon, but some couples take fabric that's significant to them, whether it's from a family heirloom, made or gifted from family members, or cord in colours or patterns that have a significance. Couples with children often choose a ribbons to represent each child. You can also buy handfasting ribbons online. A single handfasting cord should be about one to two metres long, so it can loop around your wrists and hands.
How Do You Do a Handfasting?
- You can chose to bind with one hand each or two. For one hand, stand side-by-side and hold out your arms together. If you choose two, stand face-to-face and clasp each other by the hands (or wrists for a more secure grasp!) - many couples will cross their arms, with one's left hand linking the other's right, which looks like an infinity knot from above. There are no hard or fast rules, try it out beforehand and see what's comfortable to you!
- Ask either your celebrant or chosen family members or friends to do the fasting - some couples ask lots of different guests to come and place a ribbon over their hands.
- There are several ways to tie the ribbon, from a simple knot to a more elaborate wrapping of the wrists that results in an impressive infinity knot. The video above will show you how it's done!
- However you choose to tie it, it shouldn't be so tight that you can't pull yourselves loose afterwards.
- As the knots are tied, some couples will plan to recite vows of commitment to one another (more on that below!).
- After the ceremony, you'll have your cord as a keepsake of your vows.
What Do You Say During a Handfasting?
It's a good idea to introduce the handfasting ritual at the ceremony, explain the meaning behind it, and why you've chosen it for your wedding. This can be done either by your celebrant, or in your ceremony booklet. Depending on your celebrant, they may have a tried and tested handfasting ritual structure that they'll be able to share. If you're creating your own ceremony, play around, and see what works for you. You can say a few lines to eachother before the ritual begins, or if you have several cords, exchange a different vow for each one. You could also leave your vows altogether until later in the ceremony.
There are lots of handfasting vows online, but to be honest, most of them are pretty cheesy! You'll probably better off writing something yourself that will feel more authentic and natural when you recite it on the day. We have a great post on How to Write your Own Wedding Vows here!
See our list of recommended celebrants here, our essential list of wedding readings, and we have great ideas for how to make your ceremony unique here!
The specific meaning of a Pagan handfasting depends on the beliefs and practises of the couple becoming married. A valid marriage is possible. Either a common law or civil union commitment ceremony might take place here. For those who want to take it slow as newlyweds, it can serve as a "trial marriage." A wedding ceremony of any degree of formality is acceptable.
They may be invited to share their wishes, blessings, or intentions for the couple, creating a sense of collective support and love. Through the ceremony, the couple aims to deepen their connection, forge a shared spiritual path, and honor their commitment to each other and the natural world. It is a time for reflection, celebration, and the weaving of intention and energy. Pagan bonding ceremonies celebrate love, unity, and the sacredness of all relationships. They provide an opportunity to honor the diversity of spiritual experiences and to create a unique and personal expression of commitment. In a world that often prioritizes individualism and materialism, these ceremonies can serve as a powerful reminder of the importance of love, connection, and reverence for the earth and all its inhabitants. They offer a chance to create a sacred and meaningful foundation for a lifelong journey together..
Reviews for "The Symbolism of Handfasting in Pagan Bonding Ceremonies"
1. Mark - 2/5 stars - I attended the pagan bonding ceremony with high hopes, but I left feeling disappointed. The event was disorganized, and there was a lack of clear instructions or explanations for those who were new to pagan rituals. Additionally, the ceremony itself felt forced and lacking in genuine spirituality. The organizers seemed more focused on the aesthetics and presentation than creating a meaningful experience for participants. Overall, it felt like a missed opportunity to connect with nature and explore pagan traditions.
2. Lisa - 1/5 stars - I have never been so bored in my life. The pagan bonding ceremony was a complete waste of time. The organizers seemed more interested in dressing up and taking photos for their social media accounts than actually facilitating a meaningful experience for participants. The rituals were clichéd and lacked depth, leaving me feeling like I had just attended a poorly executed theatrical performance. I would not recommend this event to anyone looking for an authentic pagan experience.
3. John - 3/5 stars - While I appreciated the effort put into the pagan bonding ceremony, I found it to be a bit too New Age for my taste. The rituals and practices seemed to be a mishmash of different spiritual traditions, lacking in a clear focus or intention. I wanted to connect with nature and experience a true pagan celebration, but instead, I felt like I was attending a multidimensional potluck. There were some moments of genuine connection, but overall, I left feeling a bit confused and underwhelmed.