"123 Magic Video" The 123 Magic video is a popular parenting tool designed to help parents discipline their children effectively. The video is based on the book "1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12" by Thomas W. Phelan, which outlines a simple and practical approach to discipline. The 123 Magic method revolves around a system of counting and giving consequences. The basic premise is that parents count to three when their child misbehaves, with the goal of giving the child enough time to correct their behavior before consequences are imposed. If the child continues to misbehave after three, a consequence is given.

123 Magic | Autism PDD

I was wondering if any of you have tried 123 Magic with your children? Ansley's OT introduced us to this (although we used a similar technique with our older NT daughter). It seemed promising initially, but now when you say "that's one!" she just gets mad as heck and starts throwing things or pulling my hair. OT (who has MANY years of experience) says this is a natural progression and it will pass - that she's just testing us. Does anyone out there have experience with this or have other discipline strategies that work with kids with autism?

We use 123 Magic and I do not exagerate when I say it has saved our sanity!

I know there are many differing opinions on disciplining ASD kids. I would say that if 123 Magic is going to work for you, you'll know fairly soon -- within a month, certainly. We are fortunate that our son "gets" it. Then again, he's not officially diagnosed as yet, and we're suspecting he's on the milder end of the spectrum -- his receptive language is pretty strong. So I would say that your mileage may vary. But it's a great system -- we rarely count past one anymore!

I have heard of Magic 1, 2 , 3 and even sat through watching their video. In my opinion you need a child who UNDERSTANDS language and right from wrong before it will work. If your ASD child has those abilities I would consider thinking it might be worth trying but if your asd child DOES NOT have the ability to know right and wrong, UNDERSTAND language, is impulsive, etc. then I myself wouldn't waste my time with it.

These kids need predictability and consistency. The respond well to routine and structure too.

Here are some links for discipline for an asd child
Parenting: Disciplining a Child with PDD.

Thanks for the great links.

Honestly, I don't think she truly knows right from wrong and she is VERY impulsive. Her receptive language is minimal at best. However, 123 is simple enough that she seems to be grasping it - occasionally. She has responded to counting but it's hit or miss. She will have complete opposite reactions to the exact same scenario. EX: Playing with a simple shape puzzle one day. The first time she got frustrated and threw a puzzle piece. I gave her "that's 1" and she stopped. She eventually got the piece in and clapped for herself. Five minutes later, we did it again - the same thing happened and when I said "that's 1" she threw a complete tantrum and wouldn't stop. However, during time out (which I'm always present to make sure she doesn't hurt herself), she was able to calm back down in less than 2 minutes. I think when she does respond it's because she recognizes that 123 means something - but I don't think she really understands what she is doing wrong.

I'm just afraid that instead of fixing the bad behavior that sometimes I'm causing more of it!

ASD kids throw fits, bite, kick, bang their heads, etc FOR A REASON to them. Not saying its appropriate behavior but if they are having a meltdown because they cant handle the frustration of not being able to put the puzzle pieces into a puzzle in some order specific to them and you tell them THATS 1 the child may tantrum more because they are trying to communicate to you and because they think you are telling them to stop doing the puzzle NOT the behavior. So they may begin to think doing the puzzle is wrong.

How does she do with redirection?

That makes so much sense, Michelle. I never thought of it that way. During the normal course of a day I can usually redirect her when I sense a tantrum is coming on (I seem to have developed a 6th sense for this!) and tantrums are almost always triggered by frustration but, being nonverbal, she can't tell me what it is. Sometimes I feel like a detective! I mostly use the 123 method when we're "working" on something and she does tend to act out more then so maybe that is the source of her frustration and not the 123. I guess she may just be getting more and more angry because she can't comprehend what is expected of her. I may be assuming that she understands more than she does. If that's the case, how do I communicate to her when a certain behavior is wrong or unacceptable?

Amy being nonverbal and unable to communicate with you is a frustration for any child in itself. Rewards, lot of OVER EXGGERATE positive praise helps reinforce good behivors for our kids. I don't think you can just communicate to our kids something is right or wrong. They are very visual learners and learn best by being shown. Again over exggerate positive priase when soing something good or right, and redirecting and/or ignoring the bad behaviors seem to help these kids. Do you use PECS with her?

Keep in mind too Amy her frustration could be over a change in routine. not being prepared to do "work", having been taken awy from something she was enjoying doing, or having to sit and focus too long. She may only have the ability to sit for 90 seconds. Sometimes we have to walk them through the steps and give them a break between each step and gradually increase the length of work time and the amount of break time. Using timers can also be beneficial when "working". Because the beep signals an end. Remember to always praise her efforts. Good Sitting, good listening, if she tries to speak good words. It isn't ever easy but eventually you get in a rythem and find what works best.

Also take a look at what you have been doing. Is the work time you do with her every day? Is it always at the same time each day? Structure, routine, consistency, repetition really help our kids!

Mark_dad alot of asd kids have no safety awareness (or very little) many are runners and climbers and show no fear. I agree these behaviors need to be discouraged and YES it is very hard to know what to do. Im just a parent like all of you here. I don't have any specialized background training (other than what my own autistic son has provided me with

I do know our kids learn very well with repetition and consistency. If the child keeps climbing provide a safe place they CAN climb, or an alternate activity that would be similar. (some people have bought and installed rock climbing walla or set up a climbing activity center in a basement or back yard.) Everytime they climb something unsafe redirect them to the safe climbing thing that was designed for them, and praise them for climbing there. If you are consistent redirecting EVERY SINGLE TIME the repetition should help them learn. It can be used for various things.

A few months before my son turned 3 and he was oficially diagnosed, we started a one on one "summer school" for him. He had meltdowns over being sung hello to, he had meltdowns over having to get his PECS piece, he had meltdowns over having to sit, he had meltdowns over getting a cookie. Everything was hand over hand. He would kick, hit, bite, scream, headbang, run and so on the ENTIRE time we were there. It was extremely hard to watch because I thought to myself what am I putting him through? I wanted tojust comfort him. And I knew it wouldn't just be left there at his "school" when we went home. But it was extremely important for him to be taught how to do these things and NOT to show ANY emotion in doing it hand over hand with him. No changes in the tone of voice, no discipline - just redirection. Since he wouldn't touch the PECS board and couldn't sit to do the puzzle (because he wouldn't sit) - he was rewarded with "go play" after he touched the PECS schedule, then he was brought to the table to sit. AS SOON as he sat for 10 seconds he again was rewarded to "go play" for a few minutes, put one puzzle piece in "go play" etc.

Redirection of behavior. as he screamed we would direct his attention to what we wanted from him. "check schedule" or "sit" or "look puzzle" repeating it over and over. These kids already have trouble understanding, so use just a few short words and keep using the same ones. Changing the words will only confuse them more.

When they bite you, hit you, kick you etc - first - try to anticipate it. You know your child best and are probably learning what sets them off - just exactly how mad they are - and you know the things that they do when they get that mad - if posible grab the hand or foot and say in a very even tone "no kicking". If they continue to kick as you hold their foot; again say "no kicking" (try getting eye contact when you do this) This can be used for numerous behaviors too.

If they are out of control and aggressive to you or someone else or self injurious you can either rediect them to a safe designated place for their meltdown like a bean bag chair or a cozy corner with pillows, some people like the couch although for me as out of control as my son gets the couch is NOT safe for him as he will throw himself on the floor and has a chance of hurting himself on the end tables. You can also put them in a basket hold where you sit on the floor with them their back to your chest, their hands criss crossed infront of them as you hold their hands down so they cant pinch, scratch, hit, bite themself etc. and your legs wrapped over theirs so they cant kick you.

Another idea that I have not been able to try during a meltdown is using a therapy ball. They are very calming! If you see the meltdown coming redirect to the therapy ball where they can be bounced or roll or flap and rock against. (my son spends most of his day on one now) Hopefully if you can start them young enough they wont fight you to go on it when they are having a meltdown when they are bigger. (my son resists it when he is angry and he is too big for me to safely hold on a 50" ball when he is in a meltdown) Hopefully, they can learn to use something like this and learn some self regulation skills rather than for my son learning to hold it together and never having learned how to release it appropriately.

Discipline and the Child with Autism

Tips on Parental Discipline

How do we handle the aggressive behaviors that many children with autism exhibit when they are disappointed or frustrated? This is an age old question that was brought home to me today, when Jonathan smashed a drinking glass in the kitchen sink because he was upset at being told no. Are there good ways to handle this problem, or are we as parents left to fend for ourselves?

Fortunately, while actual situations must be dealt with on an individual basis, there are some excellent suggestions from the book Pervasive Developmental Disorders: Finding a Diagnosis and Getting Help by Mitzi Waltz. This is one of the most practical books I have found for parents and other caregivers, and I highly recommend it. The following are adapted from Chapter 10 of this book.

• The best discipline is positive , so parents must rely on providing incentives for desirable behavior before using punishment to control undesirable behaviors. The "token economy" schemes used in many classrooms can be successfully adapted for home use, for example. Parents should also learn about alternative strategies for addressing the roots of problem behavior, such as relaxation techniques.
• Punishment must fit the crime. Whenever possible, the only punishment should be experiencing the natural and logical consequences of an undesirable action.
• Parents must agree on basic guidelines for stopping undesirable behavior, such as whether physical punishment is ever acceptable, what form discipline will take, and under what circumstances it will be meted out.
• Physical punishment is a last resort and should be used in a controlled fashion, if at all.
• Parents must develop a common set of effective disciplinary measures for undesirable behavior.
• Parents must agree to avoid calling the child (or each other) hurtful names or using other verbal abuse.
• Parents need to support each other in the effort to remain calm during behavior problems. If a parent is losing control, he or she should feel free to turn the situation over to the other partner long enough to take a "parental time-out."
• Parents must not give one partner the permanent role of disciplinarian. The old "wait 'til Daddy gets home" scenario lets one parent off the hook, and encourages children to be fearful and manipulative. For children with neurological problems, delayed discipline can be particularly confusing.
• Parents should agree to look closer for hidden causes, if an undesirable behavior happens repeatedly, and neither incentives nor disincentives seem to curb it.
• Most importantly, parents must present a united front , even when they don't actually agree. Arguments over discipline should not occur in front of the child.
• These suggestions are not only effective for parents, but they may be adapted easily for teachers, child care workers and others who are in close contact with the autistic child. They offer an excellent approach to discipline, which is often a major point of conflict within the family unit.

On the Autism/PDD Site

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Michelle brings up some good points. Our son has many behaviors that, when seen in an NT kid, would probably be punished. But, mixed in with these, are other far more obvious "testing behaviors," such as standing on chairs and looking right at us with a grin, knowing that we can't stand it. Attention-getting behaviors or behaviors that put him or others in danger.

We feel strongly that he must learn that these can't happen!

I agree that LOTS of positive praise works best - at least it has for my daughter. Everytime she does something new or great our whole family dances around and hoots and hollers! We're a little crazy but she LOVES that response. Her therapists think it's so funny that she won't talk but she can say WOOHOOOO. when she's happy or proud of herself! We have introduced pictures (food, toys, drink) and a few pic-sims (eat, drink). She responds to the real pictures we made much better than the symbols. These are also very frustrating for her. We are going to keep on trying though because I want her to have a way to communicate if she doesn't talk for a while. I am definitely going to try some of your techniques Michelle. We've been using small bits of food for reward - but I especially like the idea of play time or free time.

Mark_dad, Ansley also has no safety awareness. DH and I are always on the lookout for things that she can hurt herself on, because if there's a way to hurt herself on something, trust me, she will find it! (Friends with NT children think we are too overprotective - they just don't get it. ) That's why I want so badly to work toward her gaining some understanding of when to stop certain behaviors. I know she's slowly learning some impulse control -I'm catching glimpses of it! We are just going to keep plugging along!

I just know that these issues are better dealt with now why she's small (and I can still pick her upand physically help her!) than later when she is bigger and (hopefully) doing more with peers or in classrooms when I'm not around!

Thanks for all the responses - I feel like we've been somewhat alone in this journey until now. I've been doing the best I can to educate myself but it is so awesome to be able to get input from other parents going through the same things.

i always took the stance with my son of rewarding good behavior, not in punishing bad. think too much focus on bad is confusing. they need to know what is expected of them. would let him go and buy a video if he behaved in church etc. something as small as if you behave at grandmoms then you will get a fovorite food. gradually the need for rewards decrease when the child knows what is expected. if i have to bring him somewhere i know he dislikes we talk about how he needs to behave just beforehand. also it is difficult for them to stop something they are enjoying right when you want them to. if you want them to stop doing a puzzle they are enjoying it is easier to say we need to stop the puzzle in 5 minutes etc. let them get used to the idea.

Michelle, you mentioned using a therapy ball. Ansley responds really well to the ball but she responds VERY quickly to brushing and the brush is more convenient to carry with us. I'm not saying it always works but when it does, it is an immediate response. I mean she's screaming one minute and then silence AND smiles when you start the brushing. I think brushing / sensory integration therapy is what is helping her to self-regulate (am I using the right terminology?) so much quicker than she did even a few months ago.

Being a huge proponent of 123 Magic (IF your kid understands it), I just want to emphasize that when the kid "gets" it, there are almost no timeouts. They hear "that's one" and they know that there's no point in pushing it to "2," to "3," and then to a TO.

I realize that is only appropriate for a few kids on the spectrum, but again, you'll know very quickly whether or not it will work. We taught our son 123 Magic when we had no inkling whatsoever that he might be ASD (and, truthfully, as we await diagnoses, we still don't know that he is). I'm really, really gald we did -- he got it, and his behavior problems, while far from nonexistant, are worlds better today than they were 9 months ago. As I type this, I'm having trouble remembering the last time I gave him a TO, or the last time he did one of his big "testers" (like standing up in our rocking chair).
Speaking of safety awareness - we had to fence in our entire 2 1/2 acres! Very expensive even though dh installed it himself. Noah found out that if he ran toward the road, mommy and daddy would chase him and he just loves to be chased. Uuuugghh. The speed limit on our road is 45mph but the people around here view speed limits as mere suggestions! They don't even stop for the railroad tracks nearby (lot of deaths) - they would never be able to stop in time to avoid hitting a toddler darting out in the road if they can't avoid a train. I hope someday ds will understand that the road is dangerous!
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Thread: 123-Magic vs. Love&Logic

I've seen both recommended here on the BBB. Can anyone give a brief overview of each approach? Which do you prefer and why? Any other approaches/books that are recommended?

DC is 20mo, so I'm interested in an approach that's suitable for this age group.

I've taken Love and Logic classes, and watched the 123 Magic video series.

I started L&L when DD was 3yo. Things I liked about it: Natural consequences make sense! I like that they admit parents need time too, and, for older kids, suggest that when they do something that takes away from family time, the child is expected to do something that helps the family. I like that they have ideas for e.v.e.r.y possible behavior, from throwing food from a high chair to staying out past curfew. I liked the classes (our was done by a local Moms of Preschoolers group, so most of us had kids around the same age). I love that they have a 1-800 number for advice, after you have taken the classes. I love that they have L&L for Preschoolers, for Teens, etc.

123 Magic is more behavior modification. Basic premise is easy. You give warning ("DD, that's 1 for the arguing"). You give a second warning ("DD, that's 2. Next will be time out on your bed"). And when the third one happens, they need to be taken to their room for a cool-down. We started this when DD was in kindergarten. It worked wonders overall. Even now, I can look at DD when she's being a stinker, and say "1 for rudeness" and, assuming she's in a reasonable mood, that's all she needs to adjust her attitude.

Now, after saying all this, with a 20mo, I'd think both are "too much". At 20mo, I'd be working on what L&L calls "Basic German Shepard": teaching a child to come to you when called, sit when told, follow when told, etc. Basically, teach your child what you would teach a puppy, because every parenting philosophy will fail in the future if these basic commands are completely ignored.

--Mimi
Mom to Lala (2004), Bonus Mom to Big Sis 1 (1991) and Big Sis 2 (1992)
Grammy to Big Kindy Kid (2011), Big Pre-K Kid (2012),
Grandbaby Appendage (2014), and New Baby Grandboy (summer 2017)

1-2-3 Magic: 3-Step Discipline for Calm, Effective & Happy Parenting

How often do you hear complaints like this from a frustrated parent in your office? Stress from dealing with behavior problems related to ADHD, Autism spectrum, or ODD can aggravate depression, anxiety, impulse control disorders, marital discord, substance abuse, and a host of other psychological problems in parents. Clients wind up stuck in a cycle where ineffective parenting methods exacerbate behavior problems and the parent has no idea what to do.

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The formula for this success is straightforward: The plan is simple, it’s easy to learn, and it works. Don’t let the frustration, anger, and stress continue any longer for your clients - become a Certified 1-2-3 Magic Trainer® today!

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By completing this 1-2-3 Magic program, you will become a Certified 1-2-3 Magic Family Trainer®​ and permitted to train families in this program during one-on-one clinical sessions in your office. After you have finished the program, contact ParentMagic, Inc. and register to be listed on the National Network of 1-2-3 Magic Trainers. ParentMagic, Inc. also has other training materials available, such as Leader Guides, Presentation Packages, DVDs, audios, Workbooks, books for kids, and PowerPoint or Keynote slide presentations. ParentMagic reserves the right to conduct 1-2-3 Magic seminars for small or large groups in the public or private sector.

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6.0 Actual Professional Development Hours (self-study). MEDS-PDN, powered by PESI, Inc., is a registered New Jersey Professional Development Provider with the NJ Dept of Education.

6.0 ISBE Professional Development (PD) Clock Hours have been made available through Quincy University. Those requesting ISBE PD Clock Hours will need to complete additional steps in order to receive the ISBE “Evidence of Completion for Professional Development” form.

While completing the post-test/evaluation be sure to answer the question “Are you an Illinois Educator” Yes. PESI will then be prompted to send you the “Evaluation for Workshop, Conference, Seminar, Etc.” form. You will need to complete the ISBE evaluation form, and return it plus the applicable ISBE enrollment fee(s) (made payable to PESI, Inc.), and your name within two weeks from receiving your CE certificate. You will then be emailed the “ ISBE Evidence of Completion for Professional Development” form.

6.0 Professional Growth Points are available for full attendance of this self-study package per the Indiana Department of Education standards.

This self-study package is offered for 6.0 Renewal Units. PESI, Inc. is an Approved Renewal Unit Provider with the Montana Office of Public Instruction.

PESI, Inc. is an approved sponsor of CTLE with the New York State Education Department's (NYSED) Office of Teaching Initiatives. Provider #23567. This self-study activity will qualify for 6.25 Approved Continuing Teacher and Leader Education (CTLE) Hour(s), in the area of Pedagogy. Hours are based on full attendance. Board required certificates will be sent after the program.

PESI, Inc., has been approved as a CPE Provider #500-981 for Texas Educators by the Texas State Board for Educator Certification (SBED). This self-study package qualifies for 6.0 CPE clock hours.

The California Board of Behavioral Sciences accepts CE programs that are approved by other approval agencies, including several that approve PESI and its programs. A full list of approval agencies accepted by the BBS can be found at www.bbs.ca.gov/licensees/cont_ed.html under “Where to find CE Courses.” This intermediate level self-study activity consists of 6.0 clock hours of continuing education instruction.

This self-study activity consists of 6.25 clock hours of continuing education instruction. Credit requirements and approvals vary per state board regulations. Please save the course outline, the certificate of completion you receive from this self-study activity and contact your state board or organization to determine specific filing requirements.

PESI, Inc. is a provider approved by the California Board of Registered Nursing, Provider #: 17118 for 6.0 self-study contact hours.

** You will need to provide your license number to PESI. PESI must have this number on file in order for your hours to be valid.

PESI, Inc. is an approved provider by the Florida Board of Nursing. Provider #: FBN2858. These materials qualify for 6.0 self-study contact hours.

PESI, Inc. is an approved provider by the Iowa Board of Nursing. Provider #: 346. Nurses successfully completing these self-study materials will earn 6.3 self-study contact hours. Please email [email protected] with your license number, include the title, speaker name and date. PESI must have this number on file in order for your hours to be valid.

PESI, Inc. is an AOTA Approved Provider of professional development. Approved provider # 3322. This Distance Learning-Independent activity is offered at .60 CEUs Intermediate, Domain of OT and Occupational Therapy Process. The assignment of AOTA CEUs does not imply endorsement of specific course content, products, or clinical procedures by AOTA.

CE credit is available. This self-study course consists of 6.0​ continuing education clock hours for Arizona OTs and OTAs. The Arizona Board of Occupational Therapy Examiners (R4-43-203) confirms acceptance of continuing education programs relevant to occupational therapy that are approved by the American Occupational Therapy Association (AOTA).

PESI, Inc. is an approved provider with the Florida Board of Occupational Therapy. Provider Number #50-399. This course qualifies for 6.0 self-study continuing education credits.

This self-study program has been approved for 6.0 continuing education hours by the South Carolina Board of Examiners for Licensure of Professional Counselors, Marriage and Family Therapists, and Psycho-Educational Specialists. Provider #4540.

This self-study activity qualifies for 6.25 continuing education clock hours as required by many national, state and local licensing boards and professional organizations. Save your activity advertisement and certificate of completion, and contact your own board or organization for specific requirements.

If the child continues to misbehave after three, a consequence is given. The video provides a detailed step-by-step guide for parents to implement the 123 Magic technique. It explains the importance of remaining calm and unemotional during discipline and provides examples of common discipline challenges and how to address them using the method.

One key aspect of 123 Magic is the concept of "time-outs." When a child reaches three and has not changed their behavior, they are sent to a designated time-out area for a specified period. The video emphasizes the importance of consistency and setting clear expectations for children when using time-outs. The 123 Magic video also offers helpful tips and strategies for parents, such as praising and rewarding positive behavior, using warnings effectively, and not engaging in power struggles with their child. By establishing clear boundaries and consequences, parents can create a more peaceful and cooperative family dynamic. Overall, the 123 Magic video provides parents with a practical and effective approach to discipline. It offers valuable insights and strategies for managing challenging behavior in children while maintaining a positive and respectful relationship. Watching the video and implementing the techniques outlined can greatly benefit parents in their journey of raising well-behaved and respectful children..

Reviews for "Take Your Skills to the Next Level with 123 Magic Video"

1. Jenna - 1 star - I was really disappointed with the "123 magic video". I found it to be incredibly boring and not engaging at all. The presenter's voice was monotonous and the content wasn't helpful or informative. I was hoping for some practical strategies and tips, but all I got was a repetitive and uninteresting video. I do not recommend it.

2. Ryan - 2 stars - The "123 magic video" didn't live up to my expectations. I found it to be too simplistic and not well-developed. The strategies they presented seemed too obvious and didn't offer any new insights. I was hoping for a more in-depth analysis of effective discipline techniques, but this video fell short. It might be helpful for absolute beginners, but if you're looking for something more advanced, I suggest looking elsewhere.

3. Sarah - 1 star - I tried watching the "123 magic video" but I couldn't get past the first few minutes. The production quality was poor, with bad audio and a blurry picture. It was frustrating to watch and made it difficult to focus on the content. I can't comment on the actual strategies they discuss because I couldn't bear to sit through the entire video. I would recommend finding a better quality resource for parenting advice.

4. Mark - 2 stars - I found the "123 magic video" to be too rigid in its approach. The presenter emphasized a one-size-fits-all method that may not work for every child or family. I was hoping for more flexibility and understanding of individual differences, but this video seemed very prescriptive. While some of the techniques may work for certain situations, I don't think they can be applied universally. Overall, I was disappointed with the lack of nuance and adaptability in this video.

Empowering Yourself with 123 Magic Videos